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Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN TODAY! (If you hover 96,000 miles above Bogotá at noon.) — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@EricIdle Okay, I laughed. Is that what you wanted? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I say when you want to post a picture of your new shoes, you should post a picture of your new shoes. http://t.co/TUFN0HVe — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Auld Lang Syne loosely translated means “old times past.” Take a cup of kindness yet for old times past. Have a good New Year. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Saw some of my early work. Thought it was soporific! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Trusting wife has a good rule of etiquette: You’re allowed to talk about what you DO eat, but not about what you DON'T eat. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@chikitafabi My website, http://t.co/ZtkxqmH5 — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
This [this] tweet [tweet] is [is] in [in] 3 [3] D [D] ! [!] — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@CreeToner I prefer to think "ho." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Have to fire my wife. She’s irresistible! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND! Merry Christmas! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That’s right, ♫He sings a love song, as we (Andy Locker @aslocker @SteveMartinToGo) Evonne Goolagong! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
♫He sings a love song, as we...? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That's right, "♫Gone away is the bluebird, Here to stay is (Steve H @pippity1 @SteveMartinToGo) ...that fat bluebird-shaped squirrel." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
♫Gone away is the bluebird, Here to stay is ….?♫ — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That's right, "Walking in a (Kirk Andersen @hawkeyekirk @SteveMartinToGo) giant dish of flan! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
RT @MrDonoho: @SteveMartinToGo ...precipitation in the form of flakes of crystalline water ice that fall from clouds (source: Wikipedia). — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
RT @JamesTWestern: @SteveMartinToGo ... causing an irreversible loss of traction for tires with less than 1/16th of an inch of tread! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
♫A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, Walking in a…? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That's right, "In the lane, snow is " Tony Tompkins @twonis2 @SteveMartinToGo Chillaxing." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, In the lane, snow is…? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
It’s time for a Christmas sing-along! I’ll sing part of the verse and you sing the rest. Here we go! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Bad Mayan. Bad, bad Mayan. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Bit by a spider last night. Now, I can shuffle my feet on the rug and make a spark at the doorknob. I will only use this power for good. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
NRA promoting the new "Phlegmatic." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@cloudyblue @timcourtney Uh, that would be "litterbag." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Taking Mayan holiday. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@CateDoodle2 @SteveMartinToGo Related to logic. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Failed joke explanation hurt by forgetting to add footnotes and Venn diagram. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Now reconsidering my whole joke philosophy after explanation confused more people than joke did. — PolitiTweet.org
