Steve Martin

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Using my head to pound in nails. Trusting wife worried. I say I’m bypassing a tool. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

@JoyceCarolOates You don't see me promoting other people's product. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

@BrandonVaugha13 'fraid not. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Not a disease. That's a palate. RT @CharlotteLaws @SteveMartinToGo Symptom: Incredible urge to eat the curtains. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Trial go much better. @MeanBean247@SteveMartinToGo I have bad hearing — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

You were just in my office.@kylekernDr @SteveMartinToGo Symptoms: I feel like someone just forced a boot with cheese down my throat. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

First sign of a serious problem. Zach Taylor @Mershaullk@SteveMartinToGo I feel fine, really. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Dead in two days. Hannah @crabbiehannah@SteveMartinToGo Symptoms- runny nose, sneezing, coughing. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Too much Honey Boo-Boo. Joe @anamericangod@SteveMartinToGo symptom: swollen feet, ringing in ears, testicles switched sides — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Crew cut and moccasins. andy crane @crane_andy@SteveMartinToGo I'm tall (6'3") advise?! — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Embrace Zeus lightning. RT @Goldilox7 @SteveMartinToGo @thecusimano Spontaneous combustion of the Thorax — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

@TieSociety Advice is like a fly. It buzzes and then...huh? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

See manicurist immediately. RT @AlauraMegan @SteveMartinToGo Symptoms: loose fingernails and sticky eyelashes? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

You are a Picasso. RT @thecusimano @SteveMartinToGo Symptoms: My left arm fell off and my nostrils are on the wrong side of my head. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Shrinky-weenie. RT @sergegiminiart @SteveMartinToGo Dr Steve : narrowed urethral? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Rent check. RT @jeannehospod @SteveMartinToGo symptoms:monthly cyclical moodiness,backache,spontaneous crying, self hating brownie binges — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Nerditis. RT @veganisyummy ..@SteveMartinToGo symptom: pale skin, freckles and incessant hiccups — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Stop Yoga. RT @Richie_Not_Rich @SteveMartinToGo #AskDrSteve! It feels like theres a foot shooved up my ass? any ideas? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Move electric fan away from eye socket. RT @FionaMolly17 @SteveMartinToGo symptom: involuntary eye twitching...cause? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Apologize. RT @johnmchugh8 @SteveMartinToGo STEVE my feet are sore — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Poison ivy. @CJAlegreukulele symptoms: aching toes after running into granite coffee table in stocking feet. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

ASK DR. STEVE! Symptom: A feeling of fullness after eating. Possible cause: Broken ankle, arthritis, delusion. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

ASK DR. STEVE! Symptom: Chest pain upon being hit in the breastbone with a flying skillet. Possible cause: hypertension, anorexia, pain. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

ASK DR. STEVE! Symptom: You are 1lb overweight. Probable cause: Low self-esteem, paranoia, passive-aggressive disorder. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

@EricIdle 3Adult diapers? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Try to speak with exclamation points all day! “I'm tired!” “I’d like to order a sandwich!” It really brightens one’s mood! — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Announcing the announcement of the coming announcement of my new CD with Edie Brickell in April: http://t.co/uOo2NXlI — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Picked up my third personal foul tonight. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

@wilsocher Muh ha ha ha ha. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I think my mirror has gotten older. — PolitiTweet.org