Brandon Morse

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@Courtneyscoffs Fun fact, if you were to cut dow and burn them, the flora that would return to your land would be really surprising. We did that at our ranch. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @justinamash: It’s unlikely that this will be sorted out anytime soon. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@Courtneyscoffs As any true Texan should. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

People are getting mad at Republicans for not voting for McCarthy. I get it. But I'm also curious why fewer are pointing out that this wouldn't be an issue if GOP leadership was more Republican and less self-serving. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @ElijahSchaffer: America is gay flag covered police watching you steal a $950 TV from a small business while a homeless poops on the sid… — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @bonchieredstate: This is not going to happen. You don't just "go to a plurality." It takes a vote of the House, and no Republican is… — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Elections have consequences. You're watching the consequence of the red wave that never was right now. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@ToxicManFlu2 With all apologies to Fozzy Bear — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

I mean, they already have one directing it so why not? — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @LevineJonathan: A stunning rebuke … and not even over — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@JoshAllenQB Of course. You got em. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @JeffOnTheRight: I told y'all! Electing Republicans is a victory for the GOP...not for you! The uniparty is real. #LibertyOrElse #Cha… — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

RT @Nerdrotics: Happy Birthday #JRRTolkienDay https://t.co/VYNGg5HCHI — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@AdamCrigler That was my take. IF she's actually fucking dogs, it's dudes pretending to be dogs. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Hey, fellow Texans. If I were to run for governor solely on the platform of burning the surplus cedar trees, would y'all elect me? Because I really want to burn all the cedar trees. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Simple. Take a wash rag, put it over his chest and legs, and pour the warm water over it. BOOM! The cold air goes away and is replaced by warm comfort. He's now chillin' in the figurative sense and you can now bathe him in peace. Just have that towel ready when he comes out. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Uh oh! It's bath time. He's going to scream the moment you put him in his little bathing seat. Why? Same reason you don't like sitting on a cast-iron commode in the middle of winter. IT'S COLD! He's used to living INSIDE a sauna. So what's the fix? — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Here's the Magnetic Me website. It's a tad more expensive than other outfits, but trust me, it's worth it to use the forces of magnetic attraction and bend them to your will to clothe your baby. https://t.co/PcFue6ANlU — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Now there's another secret in this game that isn't often talked about but I've got you. It's called... The "Magnetic Me." This uses weak magnets as a button substitute so it literally just snaps together and closes. They're comfy and easy to change diapers in. Harness the power. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Here's the rules you want to go by: -Buttons are out. It takes too long. Both you and baby have better things to do than fight the battle of the button. -Zippers are in, BUT make sure it has a two-way zipper. That way you don't have to take it ALL off to change diapers. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Oh! Another thing I just remembers. Outfits. Every superhero has one and so should your baby, but the right outfit is integral to both his comfort and your sanity. This means choosing the right kind is more valuable than a bottle of rare bourbon. So... — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@DefenderOcheese I'll be sure to keep an eye out! Thanks! — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

I will continue to update this list as I find new breakthroughs in baby care. Hang in there, dad. The brotherhood is with you. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@DefenderOcheese Good advice. Buy some universal descaler and clean that thing every month. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

@DLoesch Technology in the baby sector is sorely behind modern standards. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

"The Witching Hour" is usually somewhere before bed and usually means your baby is pretty exhausted but hasn't figured out that sleep is the best solution. If he can't go to sleep, you bring sleep to him. No, don't use whiskey...not yet. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Firstly, go outside. There's something about fresh air that calms baby. Let him observe God's creation and he'll usually find himself to in awe of the glory to be mad. If that doesn't work. Load him up in the car and let your V8 engine do the calming. The car is a sleep wizard. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

"The Witching Hour" or what we call in the Morse household "Dino Time," is when your baby becomes inconsolable. No matter what, he's just pissed. It's normal, but you're not without tools to combat it. One solution is from God himself and the other is from Henry Ford. — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

Now, you're going to experience something called "the witching hour." They don't tell you about this, you generally have to stumble on it on your own, but I'm not sending you into the field without proper training... — PolitiTweet.org

Brandon Morse @TheBrandonMorse

I hope you're writing all this down, future dad. I'm trying to save your life here. — PolitiTweet.org