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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
WARNING: The following decades will contain scenes of graphic violence everyone should find disturbing. Viewer depression is advised. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Doomsday will be a cataclysmic apocalypse in which billions will be damned to hell for eternity. But DoomsNIGHT... that's gonna be a blast! I just booked the catering. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I vowed 2022 would be the year I stop killing people. Well, there goes that resolution. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
He's right, although so is his Church. — PolitiTweet.org
CNN @CNN
Pope Francis has condemned violence against women as an "insult to God" in his New Year's Day homily https://t.co/9xSltwGoXo
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Trump. Kissinger. Murdoch. I'm getting a lot of requests. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Great, Alabama vs. Georgia, whoo-hoo. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Should old acquaintance be forgot? Probably. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Lose twenty planets Exorcise more Blight more veggies Work on upsilon variant Bless fewer sneezers Bless fewer countries Save fewer Queens Be more judgmental Work more mysteriously Floss — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I TOOK BETTY WHITE?!? NOW?!? I am a terrible, horrible, cruel, miserable God. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
.@rickygervais Hello Ricky! Wishing a happy New Year to the funniest hellbound sinner I know. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
When people say “Jesus take the wheel!” they forget he no longer has feeling in his hands. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You keep praying to Me and I keep not answering. It's funny, really. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I promise that in 2022 I will try to tweet with more hope. Especially since it's going to be an awful, awful year. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
@EricZorn @RickAaron @AmishPornStar1 @OhNoSheTwitnt @TheAndrewNadeau @UnFitz @Prof_Hinkley @mariana057 @JohnLyonTweets @MatthewPCrowley DAMN YOU HEATHEN! ALL 40 OF THESE TWEETS SHOULD BE MINE! DID I NOT CAUSE THE SKIES TO RAIN 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS? DID MY CHOSEN PEOPLE NOT WANDER 40 YEARS IN THE DESERT?! DID JESUS NOT FAST 40 DAYS IN THE DESERT? 40'S MY THNG, ZORN! CONSIDER THYSELF DAMNED! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
FYI, 2027 will be the year of still still still still still still more COVID. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If 2020 was the year of COVID, and 2021 was the year of more COVID, 2022 will be the year of still more COVID. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
@jeremiahfraites Thanks for thy stubborn love! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you do your own research you'll find that most people who do their own research are morons. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Facts are what beliefs want to be when they grow up. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Every word in the Bible is literally true. It's when you group them into sentences that problems arise. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
As bad as things are, they'd be worse if I cared. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Once in a great while I let someone live to the age they deserve. — PolitiTweet.org
Betty White @BettyMWhite
My 100th birthday… I cannot believe it is coming up, and People Magazine is celebrating with me! The new issue of… https://t.co/yAeM0WNRTT
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Quantum physics is a subject I wish I knew more about. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Only 364 shopping days till Christmas! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Finally, an actual Christian up here. https://t.co/RGOEgMG4Bk — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I gave Jesus the gift of dying for your sins. He's returning it. #MerryChristmas — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I gave Jesus the gift of dying for you sins. He's returning it. #MerryChristmas — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I can never book a party for Jesus' birthday because it falls on Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Lyrics by My secretary. Music by the late, great, deeply missed Adam Schlesinger. Vocals by Stephen Colbert and Elvis Costello. Merry Christmas. https://t.co/OhFMNcNUil — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sarcasm, dipshits. — PolitiTweet.org
