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Showing page 123 of 159.
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
The secret life of celebrities: Tiny stems are removed from our morning blueberries by interns. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I feel it would be wrong for the US to launch a strike against the VMAs at this time. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Arrive VMA'S! Banjo twerking. Crowd goes wild. Bears. More bears. Cleaning crew! Costume change. Mankini! Waiting 4 reviews. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I thought it would be fun for some of my followers to see backstage at the Hollywood Bowl. http://t.co/YZcD7Dw3zW — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
At Hollywood Bowl to see Yo-Yo Ma, Thile, and Co. I hope they don't ask me up to play Bach's Bm Mass. I only know it in F sharp. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Saying goodnight now. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I was retweeting bad spelling. @FrostyPixie — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That would be "gibberish." RT @T_Hennessy: Fuck off Steve, I'd like to think im kinda smart but I can't understand your giberish — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Here's a photo I don't know. In case you think I'm a newbie on the banjo. "@__013 Love the coffeehouse Steve. http://t.co/oD7OTjavkH" — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Finally, someone got the metaphor. RT @DaveFriedel: @SteveMartinToGo I love your funny arrow thru the penis gag. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Your response is TOO MILD. RT @demolitiongrl: I have no idea what's happening but I am OUTRAGED — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Absolutely. Look for one in 2036. RT @stephenmmayes: any plans for another comedy album? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I think I said his joke was great. RT @cressesgirl22: did you just say you're happy he's dead?! — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Mitch is finite, right? Because that's great. RT @wallyfishman "I'm against picketing, I just don't know how to show it." Mitch Hedberg — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Just got word that Steven Wright stealing jokes from himself RIGHT NOW. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
NObody did funny banjo before me, except Uncle Dave Macon, Stringbean, KingstonTrio, RT @RealKenan: I was doing the funny banjo bit in 1868 — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Clearly a Steven Wright joke that I just thought up. RT @pongskull: @ I bought powdered water but I don't know what to add to it. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
It has been now. RT @Evanescence7041: A man walks into a bar, ouch, it was an iron bar. Why has that not been copyrighted? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
That is fine in college. RT @kevingiampa @MsBeeton Are you telling me I can't copy someone else's work and pass it off as my own? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Steven Wright said that. RT @bswaldron: @SteveMartinToGo @MsBeeton lol — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Well, of course. RT @MsBeeton: there's intellectual copyright on jokes now? #worldgonemad — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
RT @MrDoodyHead: Yes. @SteveMartinToGo I love steven wright, but you think he's the only person ever to have that particular thought? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I can't believe Steven Wright stole my joke before I retweeted it. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Can't delete that retweet. Credit to Steven Wright for the "sponge" joke, evidently. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
@MayhewCam Seriously? I'll delete if true. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I'm at a restaurant. My treat. What's three percent of $550? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Just got word on new iPhone feature: "An atomic clock based on ytterbium atoms that keeps perfect time for the age of the universe." — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Another silly, ridiculous, celebrity's baby name: Carmen Gabriela Baldwin. Oh, wait, nevermind. Congratulations. — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
Problem? — PolitiTweet.org
Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo
I'm making money in my spare time by working. — PolitiTweet.org
