Steve Martin

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I'm sorry to say that no one qualifies who doesn't qualify. https://t.co/yFolwzeLRa — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

You qualify. https://t.co/hAO1yDGXaw — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Sorry, lower case just doesn't qualify. https://t.co/Stsn1ifVKb — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Guess the state, and you qualify. https://t.co/8MDmfMZGNh — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Tom, this is award-winning. https://t.co/Vmm9vxuRc4 — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

That made me laugh. https://t.co/CbVqoPs27U — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

..but the real joy is watching an almost perfect Internet degeneration of the comments thread. https://t.co/gukMt4p4rK — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I'm very flattered by this article, but...https://t.co/gukMt4p4rK — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Nice from Samuel French (Co.) "We’re thrilled to share that your play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, was among our top produced in 2015!" — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I'm searching near the Cort theater for a bar to skulk in at intermission. But I hope Southwest Asian Tacos is open! https://t.co/rjLkvesACB — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Thank you https://t.co/1mhH7A6jSs — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

My latest photo: "Our Cat is Missing". Award winning? https://t.co/BAQkSdWxFL — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

The word "supermodel" seems to be slowing in usage. Should I stop peppering my conversations with it? — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Good luck in your quest. No green felt, no fake cork, PLASTIC. https://t.co/OIHfAyPOFQ — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Plastic dot also allows that. https://t.co/G56IDwj5rP — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Adventures in Genius 2: Tiny plastic dot on phone tells me which end is up in pocket. Also detects gravity waves. https://t.co/qa0aB6UnQx — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Actually, we are typing it. https://t.co/7WrR4TVUZ5 — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Both parties are trying to fix the Apple remote verticality issue, so my vote will be based on other matters. https://t.co/pml5f1KH52 — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Buttons are almost symmetrical vertically and horizontally. #HowMuchLongerCanThisGoOn https://t.co/zU6iQ2j24t — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

A piece of tape is much more economical, plus I don't have to buy 35 of them. https://t.co/ele6bntyJz — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I used transparent tape, which did not work so well. His idea was better. https://t.co/28l7OAYakB — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Rubber band also a solution, but looks bad to guests. https://t.co/Jyc5PdHyRi — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I used duck tape. Not "duct" tape. Actually made from ducks. https://t.co/m3xaaIKISC — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

That's the old remote. I will now have to sue you for defamation. https://t.co/JSYQTSMpI0 — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Adventures in genius: I just put a piece of tape on the back of my Apple TV remote so I can tell which end is up in the dark. — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Hooray! You two made a great record. https://t.co/3kdUuJdEy6 — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Nervous employee: "How do you want me to display these jeans? Harried boss: "BUTT OUT!" https://t.co/Gd63sUWeAc — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Yes. Roy Lichtenstein is a famous dish towel. https://t.co/WzJtAN8BdF — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

Believe it or not, I bought it at Bullocks in Los Angeles. A legitimate "print" on canvas. https://t.co/Q8zqSFQEci — PolitiTweet.org

Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo

I certainly do. https://t.co/M7vAMGEboa — PolitiTweet.org