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Showing page 211 of 211.
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
No fair! President Obama ate ice cream on his vacation so now I have to oppose ice cream! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Today is August 16. Happy Mandatory Date Acknowledgment Day! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I can't believe it's INSERT DATE HERE and I still haven't resorted to using a reusable template for these Tweets! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
They say behind every successful man is a woman. So whoever you are, come out here where I can see your face! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
shoot! forgot to find out if Chuck Close is actually a great artist by making him draw the free art test turtle. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
it was nice to check in on our nation's seniors. can't wait to see what those guys are up to in another 40 years! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
i was shocked fox news had such old viewers considering all their young, hip ads for walk-in bathtubs and mesothelioma lawyers. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If a Butterfinger doesn't list butter as an ingredient, then is it all just finger? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Rush posted his wedding photos on Facebook. See if you can find me hiding in the floral arrangements. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Wikileaks may be set to release even more sensitive documents. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to not read these either. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
MTV has just hired its first "Twitter Jockey." Let's hope she remixes this tweet into her dope new jam. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Another nonlethal -azer weapon: the Blazer. That's where the police put a nice blazer on you and then beat you with a club. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
People who are opposed to tasers are buzzkills. Literally. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
congratulations! if you're reading this, there is a 5% chance newt gingrich has already divorced you — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I think my DVR is broken, or has the new season of "Joey" not started yet? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
the media was right to compare michelle obama to marie antoniette. after all, they both ... I don't know who marie antoniette is. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
dylan ratigan is my favorite host on msnbc, next to Foofa. Wait, I'm thinking of Yo Gabba Gabba. Easy mistake. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
hey internet girl who quit with a whiteboard: next time start your meme on a day when someone doesn't quit with the AIRPLANE EMERGENCY SLIDE — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If we repeal the 14th amendment, does that means there's room for another 2nd amendment? Same as the old one, but this time in all caps. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
A-Rod has 600 homers and Elena Kagan is on the Supreme Court. Or is it the other way around? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Congratulations to Kagan on her confirmation. I'm sure she'll make a fine destroyer of the constitution. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Warning: Catholic TV viewers should remove their 3D glasses when approaching the bright light of heaven or risk serious eye damage. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
jonathan! oh god i miss u! can i come back? i'm so sorry i left you to run "groomin' grooms" all by yourself! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Lady Gaga wrote a new song to celebrate the Prop 8 ruling. Well, it is the only way she'll ever be able to marry one of her costumes. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
34 billionaires are giving away half of their fortunes. Can't wait to check the mail tomorrow! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Brett Favre now says he won't retire if his ankle heals. So if you had 18 hours in your Favre Retirement Pool, congratulations! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Austin, Texas is celebrating Obama's birthday with a luau. How appropriate to honor him by pretending to be Hawaiian. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I had something damning to say about Post-It notes, but I can't remember what it was. — PolitiTweet.org
