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John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Do you live in Austin, Texas? Are you willing to move there for the sake of watching me do stand-up? I'm at Bass Concert Hall on friday. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Community returns to NBC at 8pm on January 2nd! Spoiler alert - it's going to be very, very good. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
...and this was a childhood nightmare.... http://t.co/u18eqraOfR — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
This was a childhood dream... http://t.co/CE1r4qtg7W — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Anywhere else in the world, humans are around 60% water. In LA, they seem to be 20% avocado, and 80% bullshit #sciencefact — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
I had great fun last night at the "turbo fancy" Chicago Theater. Minneapolis tonight. The "fancy bar" is high... http://t.co/iAS0n3creN — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
I got to record a voice for The Simpsons last week. I know - I can't believe it either. http://t.co/eqjXXjUxdS — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Congress has a 10% approval rating; apparently lower than colonoscopies. Both deal with assholes; only one serves a practical function. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Look out ladies, bartenders, and any sense of human decency...Duncan is back #community http://t.co/O9sfzpmNUq — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
New York sidewalk saying..."Find A Penny, Pick It Up. All Day Long You'll Have Hepatitis." — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
There will, however, be @JoeMande, @TheJamieLee and @wkamaubell. So, that's even better. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
11pm tonight - the Season Finale of my stand-up show. There will be singing! Dancing! Acrobats! There will be none of those things. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
I loved the De Blasio family "victory dance". The "De Blasio 4" are like the "Jackson 5", but with one less person and better parenting. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
We have @SenRandPaul, @JoshuaOppenheim, Regis Philbin, and @simonpegg. Also, @Oprah, if she wants. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Final guests include David Spade, http://t.co/yrFQ5XGCSs and Sophia Grace & Rosie. Hold on; my mistake, they're all on Ellen. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
My last week of summer hosting starts tomorrow! It's your final chance to be justifiably disappointed that Jon Stewart isn't back yet. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Bugle 244 available for your consumption - https://t.co/IeNUMohrMi - features Edward Snowden AKA Sir Leaks-A-Lot. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Russia's record in gay rights is about as good as it's record in non-potato based alcohol. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Tonight's show at 11pm! @peteholmes, @jessirklein and @JAdomian. All for the low, low price of however much your cable package costs. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Mugabe is the Harlem Globetrotters of democracy. His winning record is undeniably impressive, but he doesn't really play by the rules. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
11pm tonight on your TV you can see @thomaslennon, @saraschaefer1, and @joezimmerman. The Swedes call that a smorgasbord of laughter. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Tonight's guests are @reggiewatts, @ColinJost and @NicksTurners. All great comedians. All terrible people. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
What are you doing at 11pm tonight? Nothing? Perfect - my Comedy Central stand-up show is back. What's that? Something just came up? Hello? — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Oh, yes - which meant I had to sing the end credit music myself. I think I might have broken The Daily Show. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
You might want to watch The Daily Show tonight. We lost all of the power to our studio equipment before the interview with Aaron Sorkin. — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
BREAKING SINCERITY ALERT: Thanks so much for the support regarding my strange summer job. We're back tomorrow with guest @lindacardellini — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Just to reassure everyone - The Daily Show is going to look exactly the same tomorrow... http://t.co/W1JTZdXyir — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
Letterman gave me some advice about interviewing actors. His last tip was both useful, and potentially disastrous http://t.co/gWmhHvfe1Z — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
RT @TheDailyShow: John Oliver takes his seat behind The #DailyShow desk tomorrow night! 11/10c. http://t.co/OrIkdVaWDi — PolitiTweet.org
John Oliver @iamjohnoliver
I promise to increase our viewers in the "key demo" this summer. The "key demo" is stray cats watching through Best Buy windows, right? — PolitiTweet.org
