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Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AirCanada Too many non-weather related cancellations for me lately . You need to stop booking people on flights you intend to cancel. Fin. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@aircanada If I accumulate all the time I have wasted waiting for you to get your shit together, you owe me three weeks of my life back. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@aircanada I am divorcing you. We are through. I will never fly your airline again in my life. If I never fly again, it will be worth it. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@herbadmother @todayshow We're *technically* permitted to get from Point A to Point B, but only in our dirty cars. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Do you think Kathie Lee @todayshow remembers me? Or my dirty baby? http://t.co/UJIxrShx — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@BethHamlet @marchamlet Please weed the damn yard. Don't make me come over there. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Hello all. My handsome life partner is now on Twitter. Follow him @jonesinforjason if you like moustaches and men who are married to me. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Not you though. Not you. http://t.co/yhIHOUlW — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@scott_wisdom Yes! Could you tell from my purchase that I know nothing about wine? (No one is ever excited to get wine from me.) — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@SadieMae23 Lots of skin. Well, I did one small part in an episode, but mostly they are friends. And I am a fan. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Tonight at 9pm on the CBC. Michael Tuesdays and Thursdays. It deserves your eyeballs. http://t.co/rPxvyMNN — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@judyblume I am at a loss for words--this is a genuine thrill for me. You have been a huge influence in my life. *gush* — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I just realized that I could follow @judyblume and my insides went all tickly. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @suburbanitis: @iamsambee EXACTLY. Except, you know, that 'third base' is now 'grocery shopping without someone gnawing on the cart h ... — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Preschool 'phase-in' is like a prom date who won't give you a hand job. You're *almost* there, but not quite. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I kind of think I might have gestated a Narc. http://t.co/7bc8KP5s — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
...feathers drooping into their little plastic cups of brown mustard... — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
God I love watching NY Fashion Week refugees glumly picking at their PJ Clarke's hamburgers, so MAD they couldn't get a table anywhere else. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@scarbiedoll @AllanaHarkin the chafing is the part that makes you such a bad ass. Embrace the chafe. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Peaches & Herb @mileskahn I dreamed that @iamsambee and were a folk rock duo. Also, do you think we'd be more Joni Mitchell or Feist? — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @timcarvell: Take the rest of the day off, world. You're not going to improve on this headline: http://t.co/jPm1MjBh — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
People Of Canada: Pls watch this show, Wed Sept 14 @ 9pm. http://t.co/wyO65u8 Featuring @mattywatts. (I am the Huggy Bear to his Starsky.) — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Baby's hair looks like Nick Nolte's mugshot. http://t.co/6aGhzBS — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @kevermantweets: How are old angry Americans are choosing between the #CNNTeaParty GOP Debate and the Miss Universe Pageant? I know y ... — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Me (to my husband): If someone created a fragrance for me what would it be called? Him: "Nag." — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Wait a second, @AllanaHarkin hasn't let her children watch Star Wars yet?! Good luck getting into Harvard. http://t.co/07nyQpZ — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Watching online footage of death penalty applause from the GOP debate and my laptop spontaneously broke. (Pretty sure it committed suicide.) — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@daniel_todd I have done them from time to time--why do you ask? — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Had an acupuncture with @kyacupunc today. Cannot recommend her more highly if you are in NYC. (And you like having tiny needles in you.) — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Dear Hometown: YOU MUST DO THIS. @robdelaney #TORONTO: I'm doing a show MONDAY at @comedybar. Can you come? Tkts: comedybar.ca/calendar.php — PolitiTweet.org