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Samantha Bee @iamsambee
People of NYC: http://t.co/2T2biqVv Jason and I will be in attendance. I think it may be just us. Oh God. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @azimm: New post by @iamsambee @allanaharkin! Egg Nog Is Not A Suitable Substitute For Milk http://t.co/nNAzAZ7A — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@ArmbarY2J Thank you! In my estimation, "weirdly" is the best kind of hot to be. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Hello @strombo. Miss you already. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@realMickFoley I hope you also savored the bliss that is Swiss Chalet when you were in town. I would seriously bathe in their sauce. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AllanaHarkin We're BFF's. Butter Fat Friends. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
When Daniel Day Lewis makes toast does he have to put the bread in the actual toaster or can he just do it with the intensity of his acting? — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@mirajacob @herbadmother PLEASE tell me that you are sipping cocktails with Bono right now, and acting out scenes from Spiderman. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I just simultaneously *saved* and *ruined* your family's Christmas. http://t.co/7pBOAdPu — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
My husband is the George Clooney of pre-school drop off. http://t.co/RoqHCKXS — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Just tuned in to the debate. For The Love of God, somebody throw some bronzing powder in Wolf Blitzer's direction. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AllanaHarkin Have a "Junior Ms." Party. I just invented that. I'm going to make over eleventy-thousand-million dollars off that one idea. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
My last remaining skill: an overdeveloped ability to identify the closet Wiccans in a crowded room. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Oh yeah. I can talk nipples ALL DAY. I mean, I won't, but I could. http://t.co/S7SwE6LO — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I have two of these overripe bastards staring at me as we speak. We're officially having a stand-off. http://t.co/HtU4Ipug — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
And THANK YOU FOR THIS. Your inverted nipples are proud warriors. http://t.co/1GCzkdgd — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
It feels really good when you look around and realize that the lovely lay-days of Babble Voices have your back. http://t.co/jQf5vZqX — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Does Hello Kitty make a Junior Taser? I'm interested in my children being able to gently electrocute anyone who comes near them. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
So far this week, I have been accused of multiple conspiracies. Might as well cap it off by BURNING THE INTERNET DOWN. http://t.co/ES15x7p2 — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@biggayicecream ME TOO! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @AllanaHarkin: @iamsambee has been breastfeeding for 72 months straight. This makes her anti-breastfeeding? http://t.co/7aNr0R5H — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Sorry--here it is. You can see from the comments that people take their sweater meat very seriously. http://t.co/oQMuvftG — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I learned something today. The best way to enrage people is to write a mildly humorous blog entry about boobies. http://t.co/UpRJ31AM — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
What are the chances that Die Antwoord is looking for a new tambourine player (who also played a little flute in high school)? — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Children should review everything. http://t.co/YIYUK9Hq — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I think I may have just sent my last tweet anywhere between fourteen and eighty seven times. The buttons on my Jitterbug aren't big enough. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
We are like, solving all the world's problems over on Babble right now. Or at least one of them. http://t.co/1poJtIci — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
On my way to the lingerie show. Planning to bum-rush the stage in my foundations. And a cape. http://t.co/WxHvpyuc — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Also, I am attending the Victoria's Secret "Underpants" Fashion Show tomorrow. My planned contribution: the dignity of full bottomed briefs. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Why do so many TV wives button their husband's shirts and do up their ties? I couldn't tie a Windsor knot if you held a gun to my head. — PolitiTweet.org
