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Showing page 57 of 75.
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Wanted: a homemade rocket. Hoping to launch stretched out purple yoga pants into outer space. Please advise. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
There is over 1lb of my own knuckle skin in this cheese I just grated with a microplane. Enjoy your salad. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@mikewhiteMW is a national treasure. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Watch #Enlightened tonight but RECORD the zombie show and watch that one later. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
All pro/con lists should be done in purple crayon on a paper towel to reflect mental disarray. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @BlitznBeans: "May I have this dance?" - what I'd say to break the ice if I were a gynecologist. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Nothing reminds me less of my youth than the lyrics to a Ke$ha song. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@missjenwith1n yessssss — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@dailyblender Word! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I wish there was more preamble when a child is about to vomit. Some theatricality, like a cat and his hairball. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Just caught a glimpse of the face I make when opening a jam jar; seriously considering divorcing myself. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @mshowalter: Be sure to catch #Newsreaders tonight on #Adultswim I wrote tonight's episode! 12:00 midnight — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @azimm: Valentine Bootcamp...according to @allanaharkin @iamsambee http://t.co/aLCK6j8A — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Why don't we try living without a pope for a while? Just to see what that feels like. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
How does Prince look so good? Does he sleep in a vat of bear fat? PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@LLCoolJ! READ MY TWEET! READ MY TWEET! #grammys — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Just killing time until the zombies come. #grammys — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
This is going to make a terrific casino show. #grammys — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @AllanaHarkin: My Dad just phoned me to let me know L.L. finally explained social media in a way he understood. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Kanye please get up there right now and stop this. #grammys — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@patthornton brings me a lot of joy — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Whenever I put on my black leather gloves I do it with flair, like I'm about to go strangle someone on an episode of Murder She Wrote. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I could do my morning workout in pantyhose, no problem. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @mmonogram: Phineas & Ferb: Platypus Day, New Eps (See Clips!), and a Subway Promo | GeekDad | http://t.co/UzdvyNbn http://t.co/z ... — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AllanaHarkin Strap some on and get over here. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@LindsayCrystal It goes without saying that I must see this as soon as possible. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Please arrange to have Glenn Close come to my home, slap me across the face, and tell me to snap out of it. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
“@mileskahn: If you missed @iamsambee & @JenaFriedman's Daily Show piece last night, you also missed my amazing cameo: http://t.co/BE5Wrivl” — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Look for me in the park today with Baby Jane makeup, doing karate with a snow fence. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @swalks: Tater Tats, my book on potato tattoos, comes out in Spring 2013. — PolitiTweet.org
