Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

My DNA is 92% pack horse. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

I can and will eat an entire blueberry pie, hands free.#EventEtiquette @Dove #TruthTuesday now. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

FACT: I hardly ever RSVP. Twitter takedown begins in 3..2..1..Follow @Dove and come clean about your #EventEtiquette #TruthTuesday — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

I'm going to pretend my sofa is a graffiti art installation so that I can start feeling good about it again. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@Dusty_Cole *sobs into shoulder* — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Just caught myself singing along to a Sha-Na-Na song. Dialing 911 as we speak. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

“@HerringBone68: @iamsambee - help me through this twitter maze” Just start tweeting as Peter Ustinov and you'll do fine. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

RT @aasif: Learned a lot about #catholicism 2night @TheDailyShow. ck out @iamsambee and my reports from the Vatican. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Trying to look younger than you are is the number one cause of premature aging. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@biggayicecream and...ok...wait for it...BOOM. Done. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Today's laughter: maniacal. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Wait--did I miss something?! Are we dropping a drone on Jane Fonda?! Is it because of Monster-In-Law? #filibuster — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@theleanover Hi!! — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Is it still called spelunking if it's only taking place in a belly button? — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Give @Dove the inside scoop on all your #ShowerHabits in their #TruthTuesday chat. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Let @Dove know all your dirty little secrets in today's #TruthTuesday from 1-2 EST. Oooooooooh! — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

RT @AlisonAgosti: DREAM JOB: Head Napper at the Pout Factory — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

At what point do I have to teach my children that they're not actually called the New York Jankys? High school? — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

RT @PnF_Wiki: .@iamsambee and Kevin McDonald guest star on a new #PhineasandFerb tonight at 9:30pm EST/PST on @DisneyChannelPR — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@real_kaplan Wait--what?! DON'T. YOU. DARE. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

In final Tweet Pope pledges the Riches of the Vatican to help the poor! (Whoops. I'm being told that's not true, nor will it ever be...) — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Let's officially start calling it "sequestwation" so that every time we hear about it, our tummies feel all warm inside. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@nicholee SOLID GOLD — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@NekoCase Can I please be photoshopped into that? PLEASE? — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Parenting stories @Dove #TruthTuesday Don't worry, your kids will never know…unless they're on Twitter and reading this right now. Ha! OH. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

Today from 1-2 @Dove #TruthTuesday, share parenting stories like: "I am making this up as I go - OMG IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?" #ParentingPoints — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

RT @mmonogram: Big new EP tonight w/ @iamsambee, @jonesinforjason and a whole lotta Agent P! Go #phineasandferb and happy #platypusday — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

RT @AllanaHarkin: This Ikea horse meat scandal has been an AHA moment for cows. Maybe a cow can jump? Maybe a cow would look great in b ... — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

@colinmochrie Putting it in the 'suggestion box' as we speak. — PolitiTweet.org

Samantha Bee @iamsambee

I'm going to give a #TEDtalks on how to line up properly at a Duane Reade. — PolitiTweet.org