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Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I keep a cyanide pill handy in case anyone ever gets hold of my teen poetry. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I think that we define "summer fun" differently here. http://t.co/tknitk7iI9 — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@Chill421 Thank you SO MUCH — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@Ascendingkoi "Are you jalouse?" — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
When I am very old I will spend 90% of my free time looking at photos of misspelled tattoos. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @FirstHandWoman: ( PHOTO ) Who's talking #FirstHandWoman on Twitter? >> @iamsambee #FringeNYC2013 http://t.co/QxmTn9nkhQ http://t.co/D… — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I need a sassy fascinator large enough to conceal a poison dart. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
OMG people who fawn over their cars — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Parenting tip: skip the amusement park and take your children to a car wash instead. #preciousmemories — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @Travon: Ended the #SummerOfOliver with @msjwilly @wyattcenac @RobRiggle and @iamsambee. Couldn't be better! #DailyShow http://t.co/C1Uq… — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Last night there was a fruit fly orgy on your breakfast bananas. Happy Friday! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
“@Theodent: Finally! A news correspondent that doesn't contain Fluoride! “@iamsambee: Finally, a toothpaste flavor that makes sense.” — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@AllanaHarkin @FirstHandWoman @nycfringe Ooooooooooohh! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Don't forget: it's National Sam Bee Freaks Out Over Skin Cancer Day!! — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Finally, a toothpaste flavor that makes sense. http://t.co/ohugWRmnqQ — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
If you're ever feeling lonely, subscribe to #NationalGeographic and bask in the warmth of one hundred million renewal notices. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
For an authentically great experience drop everything (EVERY THING) and go see this. @FirstHandWoman @NYCFringe http://t.co/08Vs0rRHeT — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@SarahThyre I feel like you know me better than I know myself — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@SarahThyre I want it to be acid wash denim — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Jeans bed. Yes please. http://t.co/mqzqzrHMol — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
RT @TheDailyShow: .@msjwilly and @iamsambee convene two panels to discuss the state of race relations in America. http://t.co/jYwmSNlMM4 #D… — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Fairly confident we were the only family at the American Girl Place today with a hammerhead shark at the table. http://t.co/Yd8QnliDeF — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I need a pretty cocktail ring that doubles as a shiv. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@TIME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! http://t.co/6a595OKNrG — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@GuyInc0gnito But look how tenderly he handles the bottle. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@CO_DM Problem solved!! *tingles* — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I think we'd all trust Putin more if there was a picture of him bottle feeding a baby deer. — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
Is there a long terrifying German word for "my toe clips are stuck on this soul cycle bike help I don't want to die here?" — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
@biggayicecream NEVER — PolitiTweet.org
Samantha Bee @iamsambee
I'm going to start a frozen yogurt chain with over 25000 possible mix-in combinations THEN WILL YOU BE SATISFIED?! — PolitiTweet.org
