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daniel tosh @danieltosh
for those of you who aren’t as familiar with selena’s body of work as i am, this version might be more enjoyable: https://t.co/TZQJLlNLnw — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
why? because i know every word to the @selenagomez song ‘good for you’ and i have lots of money. https://t.co/PzNv8vArQg — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
and cut. see you next week. goodbye. i'm out. later. peace. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GraciaSikes i got a couple hook-ups over at harper valley state -- i'll put in the good word for you — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ZachSvobodny zach, i have a full-time job. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@brad24cottrell god you are unfunny. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@gopack162 like a true hipster — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@lizladz that remains to be seen, wait until tomorrow — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Ciskapisca buenas gnocchi! how those trapped miners doing? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@BBasta_ let's go @HomeDepot give your team a little kickback! they wear aprons for god's sake. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@lczbyte only the ones your mom is at — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ericwilborn you're on fire tonight! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GrayceBarington maybe, heard you got a new hottie prime minister — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JayLor247 i am very good looking in person. it's borderline alarming. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Webmyster81 what's the point of being redeemed by the blood of the lamb if you can't poke a little fun? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mafialifefrank there are only so many ways people can hurt themselves. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@AdolfHiipster french. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JLK1993 by simply asking the host on twitter — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jacobdawebb come by my place later, jacob. i'd like to paint you. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@cantu_darrick i was unaware there was any other way to do it — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Chacha2306 by "have" do you mean date? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@reemixtape you lost me at 7 thousand dollars — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@YaksonFjord solid, brah. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@FlexDaGreat how do you think that makes anthony anderson feel? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@olim13 a weenie between the legs is the ultimate muthafuckin tuck. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@bigdalty the reruns from season 4 are pretty choice, just buy those — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DannyisGoodman i leave bowls of black licorice and circus peanuts on my doorstep and let the kids choose. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@KingFlowBro please contact your satellite or cable provider — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@pifer1245 tell them daddy is no longer going to live with them and mommy anymore. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@esshurden depends. does 'lackies' include call girls? — PolitiTweet.org