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daniel tosh @danieltosh
my ballerina wife is getting a boob job, but only because she has a deviated septum in her tits. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
can't stop thinking of all the distasteful things super hot models are going to do to leo's statue. #oscars — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
rise and shine! it's #oscars day. no one is to boycott until after @chrisrock finishes his opening monologue. #GOAT — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
hey, daniel tosh here. since you're paying attention for whatever reason, might i recommend you adopt a dog or cat? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
thanks for watching. oscars spoiler alert: best sound mixing will go to star wars. #lockoftheweek — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MPlant11 then how would my friends eat? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Joshua_Knecht eventually — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CaterpillarOrgy i bet you won't amount to much in life — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@winnshred i wish!!!!!!!!! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@PeteZaRodriguez not for long. trump will get em in line — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@fishertons check out twitter. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@shekeljewlu abortion — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@bossbossbritt90 too much makeup. but i'm sure he already told you that last week. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@9BR05 it doesn't matter what kind of gas you use as long as you fill it with bitches — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@phildawg2014 i thought you were gonna say tweeting — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@NMcKown4 some toothless hillbilly chain-smoking at a slot machine and trump — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@WCeagles77 only if it's to the detriment of their family and loved ones. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@lgeesaman none. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@colejrepka you're bad at saying things that aren't mean — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@D_real_rbeezy only if you have a fist — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@miketroy85 in a shitty restaurant in orlando. it was a music competition (i didn't know that when i signed up). not well. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ThatBrettPrice i promise you there won't be a zoolander 3 — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@wasteditalian fall 90 feet to your near death. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mlstack sorry, but i already paid out the million to another follower. you came in 2nd, though. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mgoff_SODMG not according to their non-disclosure agreements — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@I_Am_PsychMike you're only asking so you can brag about being a homeowner — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@EvilMark666 @anthonyjeselnik i like him better too. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@BerkenJack we were pretty close to going that direction, but there was a lot of network pressure not to — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JLK1993 delete your bad attitude. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@1Mystery_man as many as i need to — PolitiTweet.org
