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daniel tosh @danieltosh
@SydQuick wide base — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CollinShaver everybody knows dave grohl pulled that trigger — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DaWhiteKnight44 since tiger is not playing my money is on fuzzy zoeller. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@OmniaELiquid you are right, i have no idea. i wish it was one less. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Zach_Schilinski it's the foreigners, they don't know how to properly format dates like us yanks — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Ccrabtree21 wrath of khan — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@krrisstenn boys medium is the biggest i could find — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@RichardHagen115 where's the brie!?!?! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MikePateli smart of you. that's when the tacos are half off. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Bobby__Perry you should buy a dvr and an apple tv so you never miss a show again — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DimosGreen i'm with you, dimos. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@maddielaustra the cadillac of apples — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@1715514a @YouTube disappointment is a big part of life — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
new #tosh starts now. fyi i’ve been hacked by a nicer version of myself tonight. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate my fan base, but i wish you were all dead. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate north koreans, but i find freedom to be essential to happiness. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate big tobacco or douchebags, but vaping is lame! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate spanish librarians, but paella is not an acceptable lunch to eat at work. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate people with crohn's disease, but my bms of late have been exquisite. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate johnson & johnson, but sometimes tears can be very cleansing emotionally. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate zookeepers, but i hate zoos. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i don’t want to alienate the GOP base, but big government rules! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
for tonight only, all episodes of new #tosh are BOGO! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
have the averys publicly endorsed a candidate yet? #wisconsin — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
polls are closed. we can now project that a new #tosh will start in one hour. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
just found out seventeen magazine put me on the cover of their ‘lanky’ issue without my permission. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i think it’s sexist that warren buffet is only offering 50 dollars to whoever picked uconn to win. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
my ncaa women’s bracket is still unblemished because i haven’t filled it out yet. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i was going to produce gay fetish films in north carolina, employing millions (depending on when you think life starts) but i’m pulling out. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
when ted cruz laughs i get scared. — PolitiTweet.org