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daniel tosh @danieltosh
it’s tuesday and #tosh is tweeting now! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
by reading this tweet, you agree to watch new #tosh in 28 minutes or else go to federal prison. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i plan to make love to my ballerina wife to this later tonight. https://t.co/4m1VjC0bnY i suggest you do the same to your loved one. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
you can’t spell toosdhay without #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
ben affleck was great on drunk history with bill simmons. if tom brady was such a good friend, he’d deflate ben’s puffy face! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
hillary has my vote if she keeps her promise to repeal the 19th amendment! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
thank you supreme court. i’ve always supported mom and pop abortion clinics. keep jobs in america! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
it’s hard to support our troops when they’re so poorly represented on the bachelorette. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
goodnight, lindsay. daddy will be home soon. #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Alphawolf916 perfect. can't wait to see the shading. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CthuluBear i'm lost, is there ink on your dick or does your paper respond to body warmth? please clarify — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@TheRealFitzwell skipped them. started as a headliner. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@adrianmcantu no — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@IVAeroVI quit tattling on me you dick — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GrammHammer where's the chart that shows you not getting jokes? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@HeydenburkJim you look like a man who already knows the answer to that question — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@_thomatoes i don't fucking know. the mathematical and physical motivation for the Anti-de-Sitter Space/Conformal Field Theory? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@L_Steigerwalt go to bed like an adult. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@WillowRigney not a lead-off hitter. you'll usually find me in the 2-hole — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@TheyAllSayHEY s.s., c.p., and m.b. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mikemancini nice humblebrag for your uncle — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@coronadorukus i've already answered that question tonight — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@McKenzie_JP_23 murder a brazilian chick — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MissNadiaLp maybe. how big is your man? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MariaHaugh i'm more of an o-town man. ashley parker angel 4eva! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@tangyoj just your fathers. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CFehmfosho be grateful. you're a lucky man — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@NiftyMittens_30 you missed some key details like jeans and a red belt, so 6 — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ShawnBridge702 no. too many accessories needed. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@c30hoov you're still dumb. let's go our separate ways. — PolitiTweet.org
