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daniel tosh @danieltosh
@TehCharmzy gross, no. i'm a captain morgan's SPICED cum man — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@McGrailP_1 neither. most at ease when i'm nude from the nips down — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@kotwduck donate means free — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DruTheBlackGuy thanks to a little bit of success, these are the kind of hypotheticals i fortunately don't have to answer anymore — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jayciekuhn no, if you're going to ohio state you'll need to learn how to excel at manual labor. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@whatsername_rav my future wife. she hasn't been born yet. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Douglasbeezy big time, bro — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JGudeahn i'm shocked you managed to spell banana correctly — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@TrevorMelton1 you know you can watch my show sitting down right? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@_DJones14_ no one calls anyone on the phone anymore. you'll get a meaningless "hbd" on your facebook page and like it. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@pfizzle89 one of the best bushes of all time. barbara bush and bushes baked beans are tied for second — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@manghiskhan take good care of that hang-up bag! saw me through my formative years — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ShitpstSupply2 not particularly — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@greenwald_zach invest in a squatty potty and a large bottle of psyllium husk — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
my replies to your tweets tonight will be automatically generated by comedy central's new a.i. robots. #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
please be respectful of our west coast viewers tonight and refrain from tweeting about anything specific from the show. #tosh in 30 minutes — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
sorry about my snapchat request for pics of black penises. i was hacked. unless you have pics of black penises. then please send those to me — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
trump won't release his taxes because he doesn't want to reveal he's poor and ruin his chances of banging ivanka. new #tosh sode tonight! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
real mature, mother nature. this is a family hike! https://t.co/Ktf1ini9jq — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
yes, it’s always the president of the united states’ fault that your life blows. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
goodnight. see you next tuesday and every tuesday thereafter for the rest of your life. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DasBeercat obviously you don't know the trick where you put them in a wet paper bag and throw that in the dryer overnight — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@NickfromCostco amputee — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@iloveinnasomuch only if you pinky swear to pay for the wall — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jiggs416 sorry, comedy central beat your offer by a mile — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Rainmaker65 are you sure about that? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mettlertravis1 oh that's what you're calling that thing on your face? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GrayceBarington i will. #hilladelphia!!!!! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ProduceHustle i don't think so, she might be bullshitting you. i only remember lauren lacey haley and laura lynn — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@itsjessewood you can make a bid during the season 19 auction just like everyone else. — PolitiTweet.org
