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daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @ToddGlass: Doing a full hour show with an opening act right into your living room … Watch this video for more info … https://t.co/8lL3j… — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
watch for free!!! https://t.co/s3GFbQ1ozJ — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
happy lincoln log in me sock drawer day! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
convince michelle obama #vp — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
big thanks to @toddglass for performing for family during the ‘rona ’tine! feel free to reach out to him for your own private show. he’s got nothing else to do. https://t.co/mFySe1zrY8 — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
tell @comedycentral to let me work my green screen magic. tosh.h0me!!! https://t.co/FxkFJEOySQ — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
hollywood in memoriams don’t care about dogs, but tosh.0 does. so if you’ve ever lost a beloved dog and would like… https://t.co/wYbvKHt38n — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
too far. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
Vince DiVincenzo @v_divincenzo
@danieltosh Astros have to travel via @SpiritAirlines until every player from the 2017 team is retired.
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @kstarbird3: @danieltosh No netting behind home plate or down the baselines #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @MarkAMark: Scratch the speedos, make it diapers. And Astros players can't use the bathroom upon arrival at the ballpark. #cancelhouston… — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @NixonLB: @danieltosh During the national anthem Astro players have to do the worm. The whole time. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @hoplord69: Houston pitchers are limited to only throwing fastballs and every other team can select 2 players on their team to use stero… — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @MarkAMark: Astros players must play every game in a speedo for a full season. That's not only embarrassing but sliding would SUCK. #can… — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
after every astros victory, the entire team must visit the white house. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
the astros players must open their homes to evacuees during the next 6 major floods. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
RT @H1SPAN1CT1TAN1C: @danieltosh Every player must get a cavity search by a man with large fingers and a soft voice #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
a bit much, but okay. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
Blister in the sun @mchisesi
@danieltosh Astros must smoke salvia during the 3rd inning of every game
daniel tosh @danieltosh
yes! #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
Baja Blake @la_blakers1
@danieltosh Fielders can chuck the ball at Astros baserunners to get them out a la kickball
daniel tosh @danieltosh
metal? #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
Stud Lee Hungwell @D_Kervick
@danieltosh Astros catchers need to communicate their signs to the pitchers by banging a small trashcan behind the plate.
daniel tosh @danieltosh
astros fans will face a 5 year concessions ban (which those fatasses should thank us for) #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
during every 7th inning stretch, the wives of astros players are allowed to cheat on their husbands with any fan in the 300’s section. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
fine. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
steve g... @beendoggy
@danieltosh They have to pitch from the windup with men on base and no sunglasses ever
daniel tosh @danieltosh
approved #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
Xandi @xandersmith771
@danieltosh The astros must eat a whole bottle of viagra before every game for 2 year!
daniel tosh @danieltosh
nolan ryan has to pitch the first 3 innings of every astros game. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
the astros must play the 2020 season with a wiffle bat. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
all astros players must wear the same child size uniform as jose altuve. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
batters have to wear shock collars and the opposing team is allowed 10 zaps per inning. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
for the next four years, the astros have to win every game by two. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
since the mlb commissioner has ruined the integrity of latin america’s pastime, here are some appropriate punishments for the astros’ brazen cheating. i’m open to your suggestions as well. #cancelhouston — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
dear australians, i will not be canceling my dates! happy to perform for those of you that want a distraction, and will donate the proceeds to help out. p.s. hawaii, i’ll be keeping the money from your show. https://t.co/hxF68UlY77 — PolitiTweet.org
