daniel tosh

daniel tosh @danieltosh

i pay more in taxes than most trump voters make in ten lifetimes, so my opinions count more. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

just remember the electoral college was set up so low-income states can feel better about their big back yards that nobody wants to visit. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

you unemployed idiots aren’t owning the libs on twitter. you’re slightly annoying the teams of assistants we pay to run our twitter accounts. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

i know the evangelicals don’t care about trump’s tax returns, but are you interested in his tithing record? 10% or you don’t get into heaven! #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

the best part of a trump presidency is not feeling bad about cutting off financial support to all my unsuccessful christian family members. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

one of the biggest reasons i want trump out is because he makes it embarrassing to admit i’m american during my extensive travels abroad. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

before you criticize, remember that liberal celebrities are responsible for every good thing you’ve ever watched. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

i get that you think trump is the best president, but you also think the cheesecake factory is the best restaurant, so your vote shouldn’t count. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

my attractive rich friends and i are trying to pay for your diabetes medication. just shut up and let it happen, you ignorant dipshits!! #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

republicans love it when us attractive hollywood types lose our minds over trump, but remember that only lasts about 30 minutes a day and then we go back to our much better lives. but enjoy driving around honking, you simpletons. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

complain all you want about us a-list celebs cramming our political opinions down your throat, but we only do it because we’re so much better, smarter, thinner and more attractive than you. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

did you know it only costs $500,000 in real estate to get a european passport? the tough decision is french countryside or the coast of spain? or do what i did and choose both! #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

if you hear us celebrities say we’re leaving the country if trump wins, it just means we will be using one of our european investment properties more often. #CoastalEliteTweet — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

the senate has passed tonight’s all new #tosh 99 to 1. (susan collins was pooping) — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

i’m happy to announce that on tonight’s new #tosh, i will restore balance to our troubled nation by abusing a privileged white male. https://t.co/nGdYd0HDBY — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

so fun to watch this team! thanks to the #heat for sacrificing so much for our enjoyment. 3 months in orlando is literal torture!! — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

be afraid of tonight’s new #tosh. let it dominate your life. https://t.co/SdzOZizp32 — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

with millions of americans out of work, there’s never been a better time to feature a grown man who eats cat food on tonight’s new #tosh https://t.co/sUCwILQvii — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

only a moron needs to watch the debate to know whom to vote for. be smart and watch tonight’s new #tosh instead. we got sexy plant puns! #whom https://t.co/s4MOUduUim — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

imagine how much better our country would be if you had to have a professional sports team in your state to vote. new #tosh tonight! — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

on tonight’s new #tosh, 9 years after i ruined her life, i show you how much rebecca black has developed as an artist. #funfunfunfunfunfun https://t.co/2aQyVX4PGN — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

here’s what an actual mean tv host has to say about ellen. new #tosh tonight!! https://t.co/lKZmGw04Tu — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

sadly, none of my covid tests have come back positive, so i’ve been medically cleared to host tonight’s season premiere in 30. still time to squeeze in a light jog or have sex 11 times. #tosh #seasonofmourning — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

the super sad #tosh premiere we shot back in march before the world went to shit airs tomorrow. you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll see pictures of your dead dogs. enjoy what many are calling tv’s most emotional moment ever. #seasonofmourning #castroisdead https://t.co/K5mSgH08ff — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

after 12 years together, comedy central and i are consciously uncoupling. they get the cartoons, and i'm heading to any network with stronger wifi. #twelvemoreyears — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

eat your heart out, hulk hogan https://t.co/0gpvgiBtXu — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

it only took 14 years, but maybe lil nikki saban got it right not taking drew brees for the fins. — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

let’s go! charge the other three officers, fire lapd chief moore, and while you’re at it, arrest whatever white guys wrote those uncomfortable spectrum commercials for the black actors. — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

has anyone asked trump to quit nicely? — PolitiTweet.org

daniel tosh @danieltosh

thanks, coach! #rip #legend #didntcheat #actualgoat — PolitiTweet.org