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daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MercedRyan im 39!!!!!!!!!!!! for all to hear. now get back to making your body look stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@nolemike34 just watch my show in 6 second increments — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
planning a meet-up for all of my followers tonight, but only if every single one of you retweets this. #tosh starts now. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
tonight i teach all you frat bros a chant that will keep you out of trouble and get you mad respect from all that sweet poon on ho row! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
my big complaint about an open concept home is the judgment i feel from the help while i’m trying to relax in peace for 7 hours. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
women won’t have real equality until they stop wearing high heels. $800 shoes? they’re uncomfortable? and they objectify you? men win again. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
tonight’s new #tosh has been cleared by both fatty chicks and jews. #evolving — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
on tonight’s new #tosh, i’m putting atheists on blast. scientology, you’re up next week. #teamjesus — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@kumailn none that i can think of, but for the record i consider you 'merican. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
to be fair to trevor noah, all foreign comics are at least a decade behind us in what they think is funny. #fakeoutrage — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i never break eye contact with my babies while they poop. http://t.co/R6ihX5L8Ac — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
good night. here’s the link to the #toshroast so you can memorize it word for word. http://t.co/c4egJQXm8K — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GJS4k ive made it. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@patiompls he is rarely healthy. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CalebGreen11 glad you like my neighbor. finally my laziness pays off — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jiggs416 move to a real country then. usa rules, your country sucks — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@NLodics how about you stop looking at vine, nathan? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@NathanShone should have gone with landscape orientation — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
here’s a bunch of your tweets that i didn’t think were funny enough for my tv show. http://t.co/HDupflmEzN — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Almighty_bills we low balled him cause he hasn't worked since the 80's — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JustusSummers you don't know how tall my corn is, justus! i work in square footage — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@KSchmidt323 well you had to say it. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@RichSparkyJones is that fred durst in there? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ShitBrick34 sea foam — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ianoehring i wasn't hating on it! i love jo jo and her dedication to giant clocks — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Chacha2306 kinky shit, chacha. you gonna go join him in that mess later? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Staychunkydj kelsey's — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@McKenzie_JP_23 probably because people keep calling her "the grape lady." — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jsnptnd lawyers. g d lawyers. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@simpleeG he has. — PolitiTweet.org
