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Showing page 105 of 122.
daniel tosh @danieltosh
how do i know she’s the one? she’s probably not, i'm just tired of having to delete pics and losing yet another set of memories. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
nba rule change: whenever a player complains about a call, the refs check the replay and if the player’s wrong, he’s ejected. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
just beat the gwyneth paltrow “eat for $2900 a week” challenge. i made it 4 days. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
see you next week. please visit my kickstarter to help me raise enough money to have more money. #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@SteveCasares i see that kind of sloppiness again, i'm putting 'em in a fake court marshal — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@alecpurcell thanks, son. call me tomorrow. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@EdiusMaximus 40 years ago, maybe — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@thetotalreason you got me confused with amanda knox. happens all the time — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@4lizcat i can't limit myself to just one feeling — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@McLarenKyle777 jesus freak til the rapture takes me away. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ZHarkins13 a couple of guys who were up to no good — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ThusSpokeAle challenge accepted. know that i only sing my songs in sign language. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JohnsonTheMagic i don't care as long as it comes from hooters, breaded or gtfo — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@stevens_ed the best. kept his fingers in 4 separate women at all times while spinning. miss him dearly — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@AxelaNosredna great question, kind of, but i woke up before my dad finished. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@BilliamPims i don't know, how many in a "wad"? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@wbailey05 yes! see you at the nickel slots!! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@GrahmKwasnick i don't drink coffee. or hang out with people. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Holliehooperr it was a lot easier once i left — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@heebhammer70 good eye. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@PhellTheBear i invented a computer named christopher that chooses for me. and gratifies me sexually — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CathyNYC98 maybe you could stay after class and clean the erasers... if you know what i mean — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@SalvatoreNY if things aren't going well — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Hokit2 it's out of your price range, fisher boy — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@julianne_muriel tomorrow i will think about it. no promises. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JoeCulotta tons, but i always think about donating to their memorial funds — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@d51951d0f885407 you don't have to. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Dwyer213 no, i don't like costume parties — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MashburnBret the fuck you aren't bret. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MattatariSSB be better at listening if you're going to quote me — PolitiTweet.org
