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daniel tosh @danieltosh
@MightyBlueDuck surprise. i've gotten a lot better at everything — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@smith15rw that is not even close to a direct quote — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@tmchugh97 already sounds confusing — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@RyanScheel12 i don't wear glasses. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@AdamGriesinger i'm 6 foot 3/4 inches if you must know, adam — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JoshHolmez flacco overthrows smith — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jessimoonn ripe. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@jennnaryann take a picture of me on your TV and then tweet it to yourself. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@OneBigCountdown girl, who you kidding you know you're a medium — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@mcfarlands412 7 years at number 1 on the network thanks to loyal fans like you!!!! and i'm cheap!!!! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Chris_DiAntonio read the fine print, dummy. it's a savings bond and i hold it until it matures — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Sweet_Tee_Pee can't stop, won't stop groovin' — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
if you're at a sports bar, grab the remote, turn on my show, and tell everyone to shut their gd pieholes! #tosh starts now! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
for all you kids trying to get lips like mine…stop it…it is not safe. see you in 28 minutes!!! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
on behalf of all native americans... and non-native americans, i demand that adam sandler pay us reparations for his comedy. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i want everyone to watch my show tonight, so have a bud light or two, because i am not taking ‘no’ for an answer. #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i enjoyed the bruce jenner interview because it showed the jenners are compassionate while the kardashians will always be #kunty — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
just found out my favorite crab cake establishment faidley’s was affected in the baltimore riots. #nowitspersonal — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
if mayweather can go 12 rounds without landing any meaningful punches on a ring girl, i’d call the fight a success. #8yearstoolate #nothanks — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
it’s tuesday, so by law i am required to tweet today. #tosh — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
goodnight. i gotta go tuck in my #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@nippynutz it's strictly seasoning for chunky girls. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@westonB411 you've discovered the big hollywood secret. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@dxwilson you asked that question wrong #fingrbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@camnorton yes, you need to experience it in the theater. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@AmandaClement22 the irs #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Royda5eleven not much. those fellas keep their greens running pretty quick, if you get me. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@PhilinPhoenix not even if it would have happened 8 years ago when it would have mattered. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@ShopRenay i have no sponsors. chilis is pretty far down the list of ones i would consider. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@88FingersEdward you must be on kronol. #fingerbaby — PolitiTweet.org