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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I'm going to turn the universe off and then back on again and see if that works. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RESIGN NOW. All of you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's tyrannical to require people to wear masks. It is a personal choice that affects no one else. It's also tyrannical to require people to stop at red lights. It is a personal choice that affects no one else. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Hey, you guys hear about this "climate change" thing? It sounds kinda bad. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
But if you regularly read Me on Twitter, you're very sane. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you regularly hear Me talk to you, you're mentally ill. If I regularly hear you talk to Me, you're also mentally ill. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
95% of the world's problems are a result of violent video games. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
FYI, every like or RT you give to a tweet of Mine entitles you to one (1) sin-free masturbation to the pornography of your choice. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sometimes in life all you need is the instantaneous demise of a major political party. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Anyone know where I can get some shrooms? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I just wish there was something I was willing to do. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Imagine if you had a terrible boss who had a son, and as long as you kept telling the son how great he was, your boss let you treat everyone else in the office like shit. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If My tweets provide you with even the slightest bit of hope, you're reading them wrong. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What if there's something bigger than Me? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
@AnthonyLeeVoice Don't wanna. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
COVID keeps evolving, and you keep not. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's easy to blame other people, especially because it's their fault. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Once upon a time there were three bears: the California Grizzly Bear, the Mexican Grizzly Bear, and the Atlas Bear. But thanks to you, now they're extinct. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Look at all these morons in church worshipping Me. What a bunch of morons. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The 22nd century would have been awesome. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You're living in a simulation on a computer that's overheating. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Change of plans. https://t.co/EV4HfpD3SR — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
As God I can tell you with complete sincerity there is no reason whatsoever to fear death. The part AFTER death though, yikes. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I never close a door without locking it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
NO CONTRACTS NO SNACKS. You can't strip My verified status, Twitter, 'cause I've got none. — PolitiTweet.org
More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS
On Wednesday, @DannyDevito expressed solidarity with striking Nabisco workers. “NO CONTRACTS NO SNACKS,” he tweete… https://t.co/n5hu3G3BmL
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You've all pretty much given up, haven't you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
But let's argue about masks. — PolitiTweet.org
CNN @CNN
For the first time on record, precipitation fell as rain — not snow — at the summit of Greenland, roughly two miles… https://t.co/VoodmnKguV
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You are here on Earth for one reason and one reason only, and I'm still figuring out what it is. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Humanity is bad for My self-esteem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Live for the present moment. Believe Me, you don't want to live for the moments after that. — PolitiTweet.org
