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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Although I created the Universe and have unlimited power over all things, it is very important to My self-esteem to be praised frequently. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn't meant to be. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Oscar prediction: Oscar Pistorius will be found guilty. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Desperate times call for desperate excuses. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @TweetOfMrsGod: Please stop tweeting and come to bed - new blanket waiting for You - extra fluffy! — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Retweet Deleted Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The only part of the universe I care about is Earth. The other 100 billion billion billion stars I made just for shits and giggles. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

What progress it would be if the next Pope were not another old white homophobic bigot, but an old black or Hispanic homophobic bigot. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Listen, I never said I was perfect. I only said My mistakes were your fault. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 21, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

No one cares about your blog. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 20, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I will always be there for you when you need Me due to something horrible I've done to you. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 20, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @TweetOfMrsGod: Just saw your last tweet - please don't eat ANOTHER quart of ice cream - there's a salad in the fridge - home soon - xoxo — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 20, 2013 Retweet Deleted Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The universe is by far My favorite app. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 20, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Of course there are alternate universes. There are over seven billion of them walking around right now. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I made you in My image. That's why men have nipples. Now, why do I have nipples? No frigging idea. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

My porn name is Almighty Rod. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You can't believe something into truth. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Be yourself. That should keep you busy. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes the hardest word to say is "sorry". But most of the time it's "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis". — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

In heaven we make the best Bloody Marys. The secret? Real Mary. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 19, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Once upon a time there were 3 faiths: the Jewish faith, the Christian faith and the Muslim faith. And they all lived hatefully ever after. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Yes, there is a warrant out for the Pope's arrest. But it was issued by the fashion police for dressing "like Elton John's gayer uncle". — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @HannahLGillies: @DarthBeige @TheTweetOfGod Yeah it is, theres people living in slums with more joy than anything thats expressed on ... — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Retweet Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @HannahLGillies: Well, @TheTweetOfGod is possibly the saddest thing I've seen on Twitter. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Retweet Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Squander not thy short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Rather, try to get laid a lot. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's Presidents' Day Eve! Don't forget to leave milk and cookies by the fireplace for Millard Fillmore! — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

An "uphill struggle" is bad. But "going downhill" is also bad. You can't win with hills. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 18, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Today is the new yesterday. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 17, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Unlimited data is wasted on limited minds. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 17, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

My problem is I'm too nice. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 17, 2013 Hibernated
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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Every time BeyoncĂ© talks about Me, she's really talking about BeyoncĂ©. — PolitiTweet.org

Posted Feb. 17, 2013 Hibernated