God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Catholics: there's no pope! Quick, start sinning before it starts counting again! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

On a scale of 1 to 10, Scientology is awful. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

When you type "omg" you simultaneously blaspheme, abbreviate and lower-case My name. But hey, no worries. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes!" - All humanity, by 2040. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Janis Joplin now spends all day driving through heaven in a Mercedes-Benz. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. Wait, the guy wears moccasins? What a dumbass. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @ChristianPost: Justin Bieber's a 'Spectacular Young Man,' Says Pastor Judah Smith. http://t.co/bo9KjOJfiq — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Titanic II: Still Sinkable!" — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm telling you right now if you don't start behaving down there I will turn this planet around. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm tired of Twitter telling Me "who I'm similar to". The only person I'm similar to is Oprah, only sometimes she actually answers prayers. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I can't begin to tell you how little any of it matters. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Based on how often I'm asked to "Save the Queen", she must be the clumsiest oaf in the world. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Diamonds are a girl's best friend and an impoverished Sierra Leonean child laborer's worst nightmare. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's not how many times you get knocked down, although the fewer the better obviously. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The sad thing is, many of the people in the 'In Memoriam' section were alive when the show began. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Anne Hathaway of annoying Me. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Any requests for winners? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @TweetOfMrsGod: @TheTweetOfGod No, You will not be live-tweeting the Oscars. We're watching at St. Peter's house and You will be IN T ... — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you retweet this you can skip church. If you planned to anyway you can masturbate. If you planned to anyway you can masturbate in church. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Does it really make you angry when we masturbate?" Yes, because it brings back bad memories of how I really created the universe. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Of course the Vatican has a gay lobby. It's also called the rear entrance. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm not sure I believe in Myself anymore either. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I am a mystery covered in an enigma shrouded by people hating and killing each other. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this or face My wrath! At some point!! Probably!!! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

People love talking about the weather but hate talking about the climate. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I don't call your name when I make fire burst forth from the mighty volcano, so please don't call mine when you come. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm getting too old for this shit. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Dammit, I'm more than 15 minutes late for my three o'clock." John 3:16. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I created the entire universe in six days because I have infinite power. Then I rested on the seventh day because I was tired. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's too bad most of the people who are into Me are the religious types. — PolitiTweet.org