God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There are no "special places in hell". The whole place is pretty special. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Jesus was right. You people really are assholes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Very few things happen for a reason. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

7 billion people on earth, 200 billion stars in the galaxy and 200 billion galaxies in the universe, and you're nagging Me for a pony?!? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

That's it. I'm making all conservative politicians' kids gay. It is a choice, after all... MINE. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this if you're in Anonymous. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Me: Knock knock. You: Who's there? Me: God. You: God who? Me: And that's why you're going to hell. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

St. Patrick's Day may just be an excuse to drink, but then again so is Ireland. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @MrT: Congratulations Pope Francis! I pray with you and I pray for you. May God bless you — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's sad to think how different human history would be if all penises were the same size. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Hashtags are coming to Facebook. Twitter wins. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

GIVE ME BACK MY PARTICLE!!! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Today, in honor of Pi Day, I will be limitless, transcendental and irrational. As usual. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You know who should totally be the final arbiter of sexual morality? A 76-year-old man who's never had an orgasm. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The future of the Catholic Church is the past of the rest of the world. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I was hoping for either the first black pope or the 87th gay one. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"God's plan"? Dude, I've been winging it since "Let there be light." — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"New Pope Called Gay Marriage 'Destructive Attack on God's Plan.'" Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Just had My first convo with Francis. Turns out he's a huge fan! #goodstart — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I guess it's cool that the new Pontiff is Latin-American but I was hoping for the African. I really wanted a Blope. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Don't cry for Me. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I know something you don't know. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If I don't get a Pope soon I'll have to start developing personal spiritual relationships with Catholics, which is the last thing they want. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

No, you know what, why don't YOU damn it this time. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Everybody popes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Up is my favorite direction for people to shut the fuck. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

No, the Vatican's smoke is NOT coming from burning gay pornography, @rickygervais. In fact their gay porn-burning furnace is zero-emission. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @rickygervais: Dear @TheTweetOfGod, Quick question: Does burning piles of illegal pornography create white or black smoke? Just so w ... — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

This would be the worst possible time for a fire to break out in the Sistine Chapel. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Remember: white smoke = Pope. Black smoke = no Pope. Sweet smoke = BBQ break. — PolitiTweet.org