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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"There is life on other planets. It's intelligent. And that's why they're not coming." —The Book of Pslams, 56:1-3. https://t.co/TQCt0PMs4p — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
@hiddenquiver That wasn't masturbation. That was coitus interruptus. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"There is not a single solitary thing about masturbation in the Bible. (There is also not a single solitary thing to masturbate TO in the Bible, but that's a different topic.) —The Book of Pslams, 70:1-2. https://t.co/TQCt0PMs4p — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"There is not a single solitary thing about masturbation in the Bible. (There is also not a single solitary thing to masturbate TO in the Bible, but that's a different topic.) —The Book of Pslams, 70:1-2. https://t.co/9xSHDFPN9a — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we’re all white. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If Jesus could do it all over again, he'd stay dead. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
He is risen. Whoops, he fell back asleep. #HappyEaster — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Easter Bunny is a silly, illogical and stupid way to celebrate the resurrection of God's son. #HappyEaster — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Another American day, another mall trending. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus is coming back tomorrow and as always he is soooo not looking forward to it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him." —The Book of Pslams, 44:6. https://t.co/9xSHDFPN9a… https://t.co/uejW8HzLph — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It wasn’t a #GoodFriday for Jesus, I can tell you that. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"When someone prays correctly, I answer the prayer on time, every time. That's the God Guarantee®". —The Book of Pslams, 14:14-15 https://t.co/TQCt0PMs4p — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"When someone prays correctly, I answer the prayer on time, every time. That's the God Guarantee®". —The Book of Pslams, 14:14-15 https://t.co/9xSHDFPN9a… — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I’d make a counteroffer to @elonmusk to buy Twitter but I just don’t have that kind of money. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"There is indeed a doggie heaven. It doubles as mailman hell". —The Book of Pslams, 65:20-21. https://t.co/wqf0DOpybj — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The reason I'm hawking this book so aggressively is that My last two each sold seven billion copies and I'd hate to see a sales drop-off. https://t.co/wqf0DOpybj — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RT @Lucy__Wallace: I received the only book anyone ever needs, today @TheTweetOfGod https://t.co/7N0ZymR8uY — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RT @DLChamplin: @TheTweetOfGod has been a Twitter Balm in Gillead for me and I’m super stoked to read this “Pslammin’ new book by @davidjav… — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RIP Gilbert Gottfried. Or, as I fondly knew him, Jesus Christ. https://t.co/wiDQ5SGpHU — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
@DLChamplin @davidjaverbaum Bless thee child! Thou art truly My lady, Ma Donna. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
IT'S HERE. After nearly two thousand years, My new and final scripture has arrived. “The Book of Pslams: 97 Divine Diatribes on Humanity’s Total Failure.” On sale NOW at Amazon in hardcover, Kindle or Audible. Or at "bookstores", if you still have those. https://t.co/TQCt0PuRcR — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
How can anyone looking at the state of the human species in 2022 honestly believe in evolution? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you think atheism encourages immorality, you should see what happens when My son lets you off the hook for all your sins. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The observable universe is the best part. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The meaning of life should be coming any minute now. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RT @SimonBooks: .@TheTweetOfGod is here with a message for humanity: we suck. Don't miss #TheBookofPslams, available April 12: https://t.c… — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Earth has really gained a lot of water weight lately. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Every birth is nonconsensual. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
In just one week My latest testament shall be revealed to the world, wherein I provide 97 versed reasons why humanity is a total failure. Except those of you who purchase it in hardcover, Kindle or Audible. Pre-order your copy now. https://t.co/TQCt0PuRcR — PolitiTweet.org
