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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People like to imagine Me coming down to end civilization because it's less scary than imagining being left alone and doing it yourselves. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The best way to not lose hope is never to have it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I am the light and the way and the truth and just the shit in general. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I apologize to 20% of you for the other 80%. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"I'll pray for you" is Christian-speak for "I hate you". — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Hell is reserved for people who believe others are going there. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People who criticize the Bible should keep in mind it was My first novel. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I don't have a problem with homophobes so long as they stay in the closet about it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Things are never as bad as they seem. People, though, are usually worse. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Next milestone for the NBA: the first openly good player on the Charlotte Bobcats. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
At the darkest, saddest moments of your life, I was beside you, watching. You were pretty funny. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Look for Me in church today. I won't be there, but look anyway! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this or I will have CNN publicly link you to a terrorist attack. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
With great power comes total lack of responsibility. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I have a plan for each and every one of you. Now, where did I put it? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you're happy and you know it, don't read the newspaper. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Vatican is what happens when hoarding goes untreated for 2,000 years. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Atheists, you are not allowed to call My name when you orgasm. Unless, of course, you're faking it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's the first-ever pregnancy guide written for fetuses! http://t.co/AmTNH1hJwO Check out the informative sample. http://t.co/cmevrkR9Wg — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
In theory I'm everywhere at the same time. In practice I'm nowhere ever. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"The George W. Bush Library" has the same awkward ring to it as "The William Howard Taft Gym". — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There are 21 other letters of the alphabet that are also not in 'team'. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The first 500 people to RT this win eternal life. The next 500 win long life. Everyone after that gets average-length life plus two minutes. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sexist? Hardly! Why, in Exodus 21 I expressly forbid a man from selling his daughter into slavery to anyone but a local. #progressive — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RT @TweetOfMrsGod: @TheTweetOfGod why won't you follow me? It's embarrassing. Is it a macho thing? Like you won't follow a woman, even your… — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Fornicate this excrement, am I right? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Every artist has that one creation they didn't think much of at the time but ends up being a huge hit with the public. For Me, it's boobs. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People who say other people are going to hell can go to hell. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Alanis Morissette played Me in "Dogma". For that, she's going to hell. Isn't it ironic, don't you think? — PolitiTweet.org
