God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Taylor Swift is Artist of the Year? Humanity, we are never ever getting back together. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Music stars always thank Me for their God-given talent when they should be thanking Me for the public's God-forsaken taste. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Why are all the good ones either married, gay, or turned off by your numerous physical and emotional flaws? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Go to a large building with uncomfortable seating and praise Me in the presence of others for at least an hour or you'll go to hell. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Curiosity either killed or did not kill Schrödinger's cat. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There is no past. There is no future. There is only this moment. And you're using it to read this?!? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Any atheist who retweets this is going to hell for eternity. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is the people. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Feel that rumble, Ontario? That's Me laughing at Rob Ford. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this if the mayor of your country's largest city smokes crack. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Why is it that when someone says a very nice thing no one ever responds, "Go to heaven!" — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The housetop. The housetop. The housetop combusteth. Fetch thee not the water; let the motherfornicator burn. Burn, motherfornicator. Burn. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

To err is human, to refuse to acknowledge it even more so. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Instead of looking for things that divide you look for things that bring you together, like the way you all look for things that divide you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

What doesn't kill you can still really, really hurt. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you pray long enough and hard enough, I'll get tired of laughing. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Once you realize nothing makes any sense, everything makes perfect sense. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I bless America. There. I said it. Now stop fucking asking. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sorry, Toronto. Your mayor's just too unforgivable. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Congratulations, Michele Bachmann! Now that Minnesota has approved gay marriage, you're finally free to marry your gay husband! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Minnesota just approved gay marriage. That's St. Paul 1, St. Paul 0. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I could kill you all Myself, but it's more fun watching you do it. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you believe in astrology, your charts indicate you were born yesterday. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I am perfect, omnipotent and all-knowing. Nevertheless, this world was the best I could do. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Good people die and go to heaven and bad people die and go to hell, because the moral impact of a human life is that easy to calculate. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I believe meat is murder. And that vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Atmospheric levels of carbon dioxide now exceed 400 parts per million for the first time in human history. #stopgaymarriage — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Shit's all fucked up. — PolitiTweet.org