God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The question is no longer "What kind of world are you leaving for your children?" but "Why even bother having children?" — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Good things come to those who pay for them. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"RIP Lady Gaga" is trending? Please! Lady Gaga's not going to die. At least not until Madonna does it first. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I've made a huge mistake. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Yes!!! @TheTweetOfGod 723.9K followers @RichardDawkins 723.6K followers Believe in THAT, Dick! It's no "delusion"! I WIN I WIN I WIN!!! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Am I pro-life? Yes, but if you're familiar with My work you know I'm not exactly anti-death, either. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's not that I don't exist. It's that I don't give a crap. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The first person to call you a jerk is probably just jealous, but the hundredth may be on to something. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

My brain says robot apocalypse, but My heart says zombie apocalypse. #torn — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Why did you create mosquitoes?" A better question is "Why did you create people?" Answer: to feed the mosquitoes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

#FF Me or I'll fucking kill you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Pope Francis says atheists can go to heaven? Great. There goes the neighborhood. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

This Memorial Day weekend, please remember those who died defending America as you pass out in a pool of vomit at your neighbor's barbecue. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Reason is a machete in a bullshit forest. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I am watching you read this. And I know your inmost thoughts about it. And I control your life. And I love you. #notcreepythough — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

When people say bad things about Me it's hurtful because, though perfect, omnipotent and incomprehensibly transcendent, I'm very sensitive. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Telling people to kill in My name was probably the worst PR advice I ever received. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you don't think you can go gay to heaven, go straight to hell. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

@TheTweetOfGod 698.4K followers @RichardDawkins 714.8K followers Help Me, tweeps. Spread My word so I can catch this bastard. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Paris Hilton's upcoming album is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It IS the Apocalypse. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Reading is fundamental but misreading is fundamentalism. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Two's company. Three's a crowd. Seven billion's a clusterfuck. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'm omnipotent. Do the math. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

In honor of National Vegetarian Week, I hereby declare cows plants. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Want to help? Donate. #PayForOklahoma — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get even worse. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For the record, Pat Robertson, Oklahoma has done absolutely nothing to deserve this. — PolitiTweet.org