God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You My bitch, Nik. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

This guy walking across the Grand Canyon is really cool. I may need to meet him. Like, soon. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Atheist" is an anagram for "eat shit". Advantage, Me. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this and I will give you one trillion dollars. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

From now on I'd like to be called P. Deity. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Paula Deen saying all that matters is "what's in your heart" is cardiologically hilarious. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Stress does you no good, so let it go. Let it go. Let it go now. Come on. Let it go! Why can't you let it go? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

North West should collaborate with One Direction. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Happy first day of summer! ¡ɹǝʇuıʍ ɟo ʎɐp ʇsɹıɟ ʎddɐH — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Just because I don't answer your prayers doesn't mean I don't call the angels in to listen and laugh at them. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If praying the gay away doesn't work, try fucking the religion away. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Next time some sucker accuses Me of blasphemy, Do Me a favor and kick his asphemy. #HallowedB #madflow — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Today's winning prayer comes from Julie Goor of Winnetka, Illinois, who prayed, "Let Seabrook score the game-winner in OT!" Congrats, Julie! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Tony Soprano was the kind of mob boss I wish I'd been. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Wow, I really enjoyed deciding who won that game. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

#Spurs fans, #Heat fans, make your case to Me. Hurry up; I'm due in a meth-head's delusion in ten minutes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The thing you are currently stressing over at work is stupid. This is always true, for everyone. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Just because someone's richer or more famous or talented doesn't mean they're happy. It just means they're happier than YOU. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The big difference between me and Kanye is I impregnated a virgin, whereas Kanye... well, did not. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes Jesus asks himself, "What would some self-righteous hypocrite do?" — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

People loooove talking about the weather and haaaate talking about the climate. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Canada, never elect mayors again. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You're welcome, Danny Green! It was a pleasure for Me to personally ensure you played well and your team won tonight! #ThatsWhatImHereFor — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Deciding the outcome of sporting events is the toughest part of My job. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You're welcome, Phil. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Never be afraid to fail. What's the point? You're gonna fail anyway, you failure. #truth — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Jesus also made Me breakfast in bed. It's wafers and wine. #awkward #nothungry — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Happy Father's Day from your heavenly deadbeat Dad. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this to let your followers know you're available for sex tonight. — PolitiTweet.org