God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Wow, Andy Murray really looked Scottish in those first two sets. But he took that third like a true Englishman! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

To the people asking Me to intervene in Tahrir: Sorry, but acting in the best interest of Egyptians has never been My strong suit. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Hail Satan" is trending. Good for him! He's a hard-working guy who doesn't get enough credit. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You're My World of Warcraft. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Jews, Christians and Muslims all worship the same God. I'm like pie: Sometimes plain, and sometimes Allah mode. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

How did that one kid in kindergarten who hit people and threw tantrums and made everybody miserable grow up to be half the adult population? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The wise man chooses his words carefully, while the fool says stupid shit. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I worked in the cloud before it was cool. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sexuality is a choice. Mine. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"God is just dog backwards!" But in German God is Gott, which backwards is Ttog, which stands for... @TheTweetOfGod. #game #set #match — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You are the result of both four billion years of evolution and two minutes of drunken rubbing. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweeting this counts as going to church. Favoriting this counts as filling the collection plate. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you had more money you'd be happier. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Dance like nobody's watching. But masturbate like everyone is. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes I love you all so much I want to kill you and bring you up here and hug you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There's no such thing as God's law. But there is such a thing as God slaw. I make it with paprika! #qualitysidedish — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Just because some idiot disagrees with you doesn't make you not an idiot. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Everyone at the #NBADraft is thanking Me. You're welcome, fellas! Looking forward to deciding who wins your games! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There is no master plan. I can't stress this enough. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Anyone who thinks human life is sacred to Me has never read the Bible. That thing makes Tarantino look like Disney. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Rick Perry reminds Me a little bit, or actually quite a lot, of a total asshole. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If I meant for every human being I created to be heterosexual, then I am a total incompetent. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Marriage should be defined as between a man or a woman and a man or a woman. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Life is a struggle not between good and evil, but between those who see it that way and those who don't. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Texas desperately needs messing with. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered; ye are all equally smiteable in my eyes". (Againesis 14:24). My Holy Word: http://t.co/N2mZLTfYKV — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Well I've lost faith in you, too. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I know it's "ungodly" of Me to curse as much as I do, and I want to stop, but it's hard when so many of you are so fucking stupid. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You're welcome. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. — PolitiTweet.org