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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's not you. It's Me. I don't like you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I created the Earth for you. I created the rest of the universe because I need My space. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Take comfort in your cosmic insignificance. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Instead of trying to please other people, try pissing them off. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I need to be constantly told how great I am because I'm very insecure in My omnipotence. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Most of you are ruining it for a few of you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Being an asshole is a lifestyle choice. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
My show opens in Seattle on Friday! It's the best rock musical about a Reagan Cabinet member ever, and I'll be there! http://t.co/kCwDqKxwCD — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If only everyone weren't stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
A-Rod could use some personality-enhancing drugs. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you're not following Me on Twitter you're going to hell. If you are following me on Twitter you're going to hell... first-class! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Just got Candy Crush. Out of commission til 2019. For service please contact Jesus, Moses, Muhammad or Charlton Heston. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Homosexuality is either a genetic mistake I've made over a billion times or a choice I've mistakenly let people make over a billion times. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Happy birthday to Barack Obama, who was born 52 years ago today in Pyongyang, North Korea. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Church is just awful. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Don't let anyone convert you into their way of not thinking. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Home is where the Wi-Fi is. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The same people who decry handouts and social welfare are the ones who can't stop asking Me for free stuff. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
With God all things are possible. Bigotry, terrorism and genocide, for example. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Of the billions of problems in the world the worst ones, by far, are yours. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"Ariel Castro: 'God Will Judge Me'." Done and done. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Big news! @TheTweetOfGod is coming to TV! In his mortal, Jufro'd form! http://t.co/KLFsr4qCn8 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Skinny jeans are a poor substitute for skinny genes. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
First I created stupidity. Then, to give it some place to go, I created people. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's supposedly "National Orgasm Day," but good luck trying to keep one going for 24 hours. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If I could give one piece of advice to help you avoid the hardships and misery of this world, I wouldn't. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The more things change, the more conservatives don't. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
In one trillion years the universe will be reduced to a state of zero thermodynamic energy without light or heat. Nice job, Obama. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Pope Francis said, "Who am I to judge gay people?" That's a step in the right direction, Catholic Church! Only 5,000 more to go! — PolitiTweet.org
