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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's even Mondayer than usual. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Almost nobody gets what they deserve, and almost everybody should be grateful for that. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
This is why you watch sports: to root for the underdog, then realize he has no chance, and the bad guy wins, and that's how life is. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Floyd Mayweather + Justin Bieber = fine work by Satan. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I've got the best fans ever. They'd, like, kill for Me. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Look for Me in church tomorrow. I'll be the one you can't see or hear or prove exists. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you think life has a point, you're missing the point. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You're stupid in ways you haven't even begun to fail to understand. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
My motto is, "If it feels good, condemn it." — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Prediction for tonight: Floyd Mayweather is an asshole. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I'm the solution to all the suffering I cause. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Well it's Friday the 13th, and you know what that means: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Wi-Fi. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
When you swim and you feel a big shock from an eel, that's a moray. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Some people don't think, therefore they aren't. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I'd probably be a lot less angry if I could just accept the fact that I'm gay. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "9/11." "9/11 who?" "And you said you'd never forget." — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
North Mexico 2, Mexico 0. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Already got My new iPhone 5s. Got it from Steve Jobs himself. #itsgoodtoknowpeople — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Giving up chemical weapons? Good for you, Syria. The first step is admitting you have a problem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You should be nicer to each other probably. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Your parents' divorce was your fault. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Just be grateful that once in a while, bad things happen to bad people. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Today is #NationalTellAGirlSheIsBeautifulDay. Presumably it's also #RiskBeingChargedWithSexualHarassmentAtWorkDay. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The mainstream media is exactly what the mainstream public deserves. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The entire universe was created for the benefit of those members of one species on one planet who correctly believe in an invisible entity. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Thank you for your prayer. You should receive a response within 50 billion to 60 billion business days. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Seize the day. Then make it pay for what it did to you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Many people suck. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
America: church begins at 1pm Eastern time. On your couch. Bring beer. — PolitiTweet.org
