God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Hot flashes. Increased irritability. Dryness. Congratulations, humanity, you've given the Earth menopause. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you follow Me on Twitter you don't have to go to church or pray or any of that crap. #totallycovered — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's the total lack of self-awareness that separates the professional asshole from the amateur. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The Last Testament for $3.99! Buy it and save your soul and/or money! http://t.co/JYs4gJxeEz http://t.co/o3nyi41bNZ http://t.co/ZaMbfAM9sk — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Many animals were harmed in the making of this civilization. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If, while arguing, you are able to cite a verse in a chapter of an old book that seems to support your position, then you win. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There's nothing more liberating than recognizing your own insignificance. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I am sick of this universe. I have decided to create a new one. It will premiere October 28. Stay tuned. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The eWord of God for $3.99! This week only! Kindle: http://t.co/JYs4gJxeEz Nook: http://t.co/o3nyi41bNZ iBookstore: http://t.co/ZaMbfAM9sk — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Terrorists really are total fucking assholes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

In celebration of My millionth follower, My eBook is on sale this week for only $3.99!!! It's a miracle! http://t.co/JYs4gJxeEz — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Happy first day of fall! ¡ƃuıɹds ɟo ʎɐp ʇsɹıɟ ʎddɐH — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For the last time, mankind: I don't need your help killing people. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Being wrong louder doesn't make you righter. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you get the new iPhone 5s before someone else then you are better than that person. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I don't Obamaknow and I don't Obamacare. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Don't let anyone tell you what you can't accomplish. That's what self-doubt is for. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Pope Francis is either the world's coolest Pope or the world's most conservative hippie. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

When it comes to long-term suffering, Cleveland sports fans are right down there with the Jews. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There seems to be a slight bug in the Universe 7 upgrade software. Don't worry if it starts raining methane. It will only last a few days. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

My new operating system launches tomorrow! Among the upgrades: gravity is adjustable, there are 20 new planets, and E=mc³. Enjoy! — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The people who spend all their time trying to find Me are usually the same people I spend all My time trying to lose. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Existing is a pretty remarkable achievement. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Mass shootings are a small price to pay for the freedom to carry out mass shootings. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If reality clashes with your belief, then the problem clearly is reality. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Nice try, video games, but you will NEVER inspire as many killings as Me. #undisputedchampion — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

One man's "reacting to a negative event by suggesting practical action to prevent its recurrence" is another man's "politicizing a tragedy". — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Next Monday, in honor of My millionth follower, My ebook will sell for $3.99! #ShrewdPRMove http://t.co/8ahKv6dxGA http://t.co/f65bp6RNn0 — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Some people are typos in the Book of Life. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I feel like you might want to ease up on the mass shootings. — PolitiTweet.org