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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sarah Palin... she just... she just... [rolls eyes, sends plague] — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Honestly? I wouldn't believe in Me, either. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Canada, Rob Ford is why you can't have nice things. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Next universe I'll do better. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Some people have personal issues, and some people are personal issues. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meanwhile, in another universe, there is widespread Nordic outrage of the release of "Thor". http://t.co/8NJUDWxTg1 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, Diablo Cody is writing the new Star Wars! http://t.co/WHUCi0C0u1 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, Chris Hardwick talks Twitter, Ms. Pac-Man and "Hot in Cleveland". http://t.co/H4ZtFHLvRT — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There's no use worrying about things you can't control. And the good news is, that's pretty much everything. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Just got "Call of Duty: Holy Ghosts" for Jesus. Says he'd rather keep playing Candy Crush and updating his Pinterest. Total pussy, that kid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Always stand up for what you believe in, unless what you believe in is stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Fear and ignorance would gay-marry each other if they weren't both opposed to it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There comes a time in the life of every great city when its mayor admits smoking crack. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
WTF? Just in general. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Best selfie ever. http://t.co/2IWV1SplQ5 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I've said it before and I'll say it again until you truly understand: I made you in My image, and I'm an asshole. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I almost never interfere in athletic events, but I had Nick Foles in My fantasy league and I was sick of losing. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Most of the people who are sure I exist are themselves proof I don't. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meanwhile, in another universe, Neil Degrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) is about to BLOW YOUR MIND. http://t.co/wuklThnmiR — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meanwhile, in another universe, the Affordable Porn Act, a/k/a "Obamaporn", is floundering. http://t.co/DRA6EvOJsy — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who thinks thoughts and prayers make any practical difference. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is My amusement. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Halloween is My second-favorite pagan holiday after Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Christian right hates Halloween. Not because it's pagan, but because it involves handing out free food. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You're welcome, Big Papi! Just kidding. I don't give a shit about baseball. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Congratulations to the team that grooms like My son's apostles. #RedSoxNation — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Judging people is the best. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The number one problem facing the world today is people fucking up. — PolitiTweet.org
