God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Man, woman, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, atheist, believer, white, black, Jew, Christian: you are all equally smiteable in My eyes. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

This trolling session is sponsored by My book, "The Last Testament: A Memoir by God". http://t.co/N2mZLTfYKV Thank you. We now continue. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Oh my Me. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Fuck. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Large groups of stupid people can accomplish stupid things that an individual stupid person is too stupid to even dream of. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Black Friday still isn't a tenth as bad-ass as Black Sabbath. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Now on "No You Shut Up," @PFTompkins talks sex with a conservative Christian red squirrel. http://t.co/embavfuo3t — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

This year's Christmas must-haves? Food, water and shelter! #theclassics — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Do you love your family enough to trample other shoppers? If not, you're a horrible person. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Thsnksgiving's over, America. Back to your regular state of ingratitude. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Shopping at Walmart on Thanksgiving night is the true demeaning of Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Me: "Obamacare is a disaster!" Jesus: "It's the right thing to do!" Me: "SO WAS KILLING YOU, YOU HIPPIE!" Mary: [weeps into gravy bowl] — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Starting the meal. I asked Jesus to say grace. He said, "What, I haven't praised you enough already?" Aaaand it begins. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

And now, the delightful story of the Second Thanksgiving. http://t.co/02fzMCMuIF — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

And now a modern Hanukkah song, sing by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, with lyrics by @TheTweetOfGod. http://t.co/bUGXdVsnOv — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"There is no 'i' in '團隊'." - Confucius. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I created the entire world for you. Is constant prayer, self-righteousness and intolerance towards others really too much to ask in return? — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

And now, an exclusive interview with the world's most important, serious musician, Sir Al Yankovic. http://t.co/Jqv7GzSiWA — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, it's time for "Ask the NSA" with your host, Ken Jeong! http://t.co/nT8aCiVkA5 — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

And now, a hot dog apologizes for his racist language. http://t.co/U2tc6n15kr — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

A huge Thanksgiving storm is coming. Millions of you will be unable to travel to be with their families. You're welcome. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Would you all please stop doing stupid shit? Seriously, it's driving Me crazy. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes I ask Myself, "What would Oprah do?" — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you follow only one one-eyed, vaguely Swedish-accented political commentator from another galaxy on Twitter, make it @yerdnerp. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Your team's success today depends solely on the intensity with which you pray for their victory. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

My message for humanity is "Kiss My ass!" And Sunday is the day when you do. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I didn't scream your name when I created the world so don't scream Mine when you're fucking. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm in a good mood tonight. Everyone's getting laid! — PolitiTweet.org