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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
And now, Rich Eisen of the NFL Network brings you the latest news on the state of football in the alternate universe! http://t.co/bt4qmtuFZ1 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's hard to book a party for My son's birthday because it happens to fall on Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sometimes it can be hard to stay positive, what with everything sucking and all. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Never, ever retweet this. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The best way to honor Nelson Mandela's memory is, in whatever way is most appropriate and relevant for you, to quit being such an asshole. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Being human is hard. I feel bad for you guys. Not bad enough, obviously, but bad. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I sure seem to have a thing for Auburn this year, huh? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
North Korea is the greatest place on Earth and here's the proof! (Nothing gross, I promise.) http://t.co/QuL0qMAnA7 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The best way to believe every word of the Bible is not to read it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I don't have an anger problem. I get angry. I smite people. I feel better. No problem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this or I'll kill these kittens. http://t.co/Txc5f40HqB — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. It ain't gonna work. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You've never seen a montage of cute baby animals quite like this one! http://t.co/K4GicliRRj — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What would the Westboro Baptist Church (@WBCSays) be like if its leader was gay? Something like this: http://t.co/Tu4dSsUp1h — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus and Mandela are hitting it off splendidly. I knew they would. They're both huge rugby fans. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RIP Nelson Mandela. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus died for your sins, so make 'em count. Like, screw a horse or something. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
#stupidity is trending. Not on Twitter, just in general. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I'm thinking about writing the Bible again, only this time not on meth. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know if you've been bad or good, and your soul is doomed to bake. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I'm making My list. I'm checking it twice. Your souls are all full of unspeakable vice. Most of you are going to hell. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm telling you why. Most of you are going to hell. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I shot the seraph. But I didn't shoot the cherubim. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Ricky Gervais says: "I endorse this book, for it is the Word of God!" http://t.co/Bra1SXI1wn http://t.co/N2mZLTfYKV — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
.@rickygervais the only child-sacrificing racist homophobe misogynist behind THIS book is Me. http://t.co/N2mZLTfYKV http://t.co/Bra1SXI1wn — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
RT @PolitiBunny: Ahem, God, while I appreciate the DM's, I can't answer you since you don't follow me. #GoBroncos @TheTweetOfGod — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People who are wrong are just as sure you are wrong as you are sure they are wrong. The only difference is, they're wrong. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The thing about stupid people is they're just so stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Note: being a "registered sex offender" does NOT mean that you have passed a test and are now licensed to be a sex offender. — PolitiTweet.org
