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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I created Adam and Eve, not Adam and some stupid asshole making artificial duck sounds. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Never confuse a stroke of good fortune with Me caring about you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People who are "born again" were born two too many times. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
And now the latest buzz on Tom Cruise's new project: "Escape from Scientology"! http://t.co/cMoDOTvwOM — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's always the people who believe I exist who provide the strongest evidence I don't. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Don’t mess with Texas. ‘Cause it’s easily confused. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I created straight people to give gay people someone to dress better than. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Duck Dynasty guy who likened homosexuality to bestiality makes a living helping people trick ducks into thinking they want to fuck them. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Everybody be sure to give a big shoutout to @BBBaumgartner, the sexiest man alive! http://t.co/AzZALfSonS — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What can you do to save the environment? Find out here: http://t.co/u4GSmMG3Am — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Instagramming daily selfies does not constitute personal growth. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Over 80% of the universe is composed of stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If it's any consolation, when I pray to Myself I don't get an answer either. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Stop and ask yourself, "What would I do with my life if I didn't need the money?" Then, resume the miserable job you do for money. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Wait till you guys find out the Mayans were only off by a year. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It was right around the time I sent My only son to die on the cross that I realized there was something seriously wrong with Me. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The NSA is making its big PR push! Meet its new spokesman: Ken Jeong. http://t.co/h34R63LhTr — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Stephen Colbert + @TheTweetOfGod = your new (if you don't have it yet) favorite Christmas album. https://t.co/hFloNvI0XI — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Many of you suck. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
SPOILER ALERT: Worms eat you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It is unusually cold in a particular place today. Therefore global warming is a hoax. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There is snow on the pyramids of Egypt for the first time in 112 years. It begins. #seeyousoon — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Keep the Bible out of the uterus. It's cramped enough in there already. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
People keep asking Me why I created mosquitoes. To bite you repeatedly and give you malaria, that's why. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I thought it would be fun to make most of you stupid, but it turns out it's more annoying than amusing. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
India just declared homosexuality illegal. This from a country where God himself looks like this: http://t.co/3c9UZh0nOM — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I know you doubt Me, I know you have anger towards Me, I know you question the goodness of My intentions, but come on: give it up for boobs. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Buy My book and you go to heaven. http://t.co/Bra1SXI1wn http://t.co/N2mZLTfYKV — PolitiTweet.org
