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Showing page 189 of 227.
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Dammit, I forgot to make Dennis Rodman singing "Happy Birthday" to Kim Jong-Un one of the signs of the Apocalypse. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Life is a suicide mission. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Thanks for the shout-out to Me, alleged rapist! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sorry Auburn. Your miracle quota was filled. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
#BCSChampionship predictions: Auburn 13, Florida State 10. That's not the score; it's the number of players who actually graduate. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Everybody chill. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There are certain teams I place a curse on, but not the #Bengals. They just suck. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this ironically. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sunday is the day you tell Me you love Me. Say it. Go on, say it, bitches. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
For the record, I AM a conservative. My son, on the other hand, is a communist. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The NFL playoffs are why I created the universe. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
MY MACROS F1 Smite F2 Damn F3 Forbid F4 Bless America F5 Save queen F6 Only know F7 Help those who help themselves F8 Giveth F9 Taketh away — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I’ve got a finger on Ctrl and another on Alt and I’m thisclose to hitting Del. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The first thing I said at Creation was not "Let there be light" but "Shit's about to get REAL". — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Attention humans: the bad weather will continue until the climate improves. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
That’s right, Oklahoma quarterback! I personally oversaw your upset win tonight! I had nothing better to do! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What would Jesus do? I dunno. Spout some hippie-dippie shit, probably. I mean I love the kid but let's face it, he's kind of a pussy. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Some of you say, "Math is a universal language." Others say, "Maths is a universal language." See, right there: not a universal language. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Here are a Democratic blue crab and a Republican red crab who are married screaming at each other. http://t.co/tcFc0cdgKy — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Meet the new year. Same as the old year. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
And now a New Year's gift: the alien @YerdNerp debates his archenemy Flerd Glerp on "No, You Shut Up!" http://t.co/BlTD77aBgQ — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Be more judgmental Lose twenty galaxies Exorcise more Think before I smite Spend more time with Junior Floss! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Wishing everyone a happy 2015. That's not a typo. I know what's coming next year and no waaaaay is it going to make you happy. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The Second Amendment grants every American the right to compensate for his tiny, tiny penis. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The things people believe in are unbelievable. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
One-third of Americans don't believe in evolution. Or, evidently, evolving. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Shit, did I miss Jesus's birthday? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I would have no problem with suicide bombers if they limited it to suicide. — PolitiTweet.org
