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Showing page 184 of 227.
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
In two totally different senses, gay men, and the people who persecute them, are fucking assholes. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus tried Crossfit once. He didn't like it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Taco Bell is adding a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla to its menu, which means I'll be meeting a lot more of you very soon. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
My last name is Zilla. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Sell a man a fish and he'll eat for a day and you'll make some money. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There are a lot of you Jesus regrets dying for. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I support traditional marriage between a man and one of his own ribs. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Overwhelming inarguable scientific evidence is no match for a guy who "just knows". — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The last five people left after climate change kills everyone will form a panel to investigate whether climate change is real. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Harold Ramis, dead at 69. Exhibit #984,225,642,095,423 in the case that I'm an asshole. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
For Me human history has been like some horrible children's piano recital I've been sitting through for 10,000 years. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You are all literally homos. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I created the whole universe just for humanity. The other million billion billion stars were just shits and giggles. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
US hockey is Finnished. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Sooner or later everything sucks. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Bieber stays American! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You never have to worry about being embarrassed or ashamed to tell Me anything, because I'm not listening anyway. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I have to help Canada at hockey because it's all they have up there besides civility and poutine. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
OK, seriously, that's the LAST time I help you out, Canada. This time I mean it. #USAvsCanada #womenshockey #CanvsUSA — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Every time you retweet Me an angel gets laid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Coming soon: USA-Canada in hockey. Loser has to keep Bieb. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If the Latvian goalie guarded heaven's gate, no one would ever get in. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
That's the last time I do anything nice for you, Canada. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Believing is to thinking what unicorns are to horses. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I give up. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Please take everything I say as a joke except when it applies to you, in which case take it very seriously and be offended. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Uganda is passing a law sentencing gays to life in prison. That's even worse than life in Uganda. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Atheists, please stop referring to Me as an "imaginary friend". I'm nobody's friend. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The main prerequisite for admission to heaven is proper grammar. — PolitiTweet.org
