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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
One of these days someone will start a religion based on the things Jesus actually said in the Bible. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
A racist NBA owner makes about as much sense as a homophobic theater producer. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Don't let anyone call you an underachiever. If they knew you, they'd understand how amazing it is that you've managed to achieve anything. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Happy Earth Day to you. Happy Earth Day to you. Happy Earth Day, dear planet we’re destroying. Happy Earth Day to you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
No one ever gives the planet what it really wants for Earth Day: all of you dead. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this and nothing will change. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus’s motto was YOLT. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The odds of Jesus coming a second time are about the same as those of ANY man coming a second time. #amirightladies — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
“And he shall rise from the dead on the day of the sweet-smoking plant.” Mary 4:20. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS 1 Laugh. 2 Read. 3 Say please. 4 Floss. 5 Doubt. 6 Exercise. 7 Learn. 8 Don't hate. 9 Cut the bullshit. 10 Chill. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus was the only man to return from the dead and not eat brains. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Death is a lifetime achievement award. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Thinking about ending the world this weekend so I can skip work on Monday. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is I'm not very good at My job. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Easter falls on 4/20. Truly, he is resin. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
There is no practical distinction between the comments section of a web page and the depths of hell. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you don't want Me watching you have sex then don't call My name. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
SPOILER ALERT: You're going to hell. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Prayer is ritualized whining. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Today, in honor of Palm Sunday, masturbate. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Instagram is working again. Please resume your staggering visual egotism. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The question is not "Why is Instagram not working?", but "Why does the world need another picture of you?" #instagramnotworking — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Dammit. I wanted Stephen Colbert to replace Me. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The first step in religion is admitting other people have a problem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Man, people are really fucking stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you find yourself unable to watch #GameOfThrones and are craving some blood and guts, may I recommend opening your Bible? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Jesus said "Love your enemies", which sounds nice until you remember what a bunch of dicks your enemies are. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I love judging people. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Seeing is believing. Except in religion, where the opposite is true. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Women. Can't live with 'em, can't rape 'em without paying their father 50 pieces of silver and then marrying them (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). — PolitiTweet.org
