God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sometimes I pray to Myself. I don’t answer those either. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Til slutt, den definitive norske artikkelen om Sekretæren min som du har ventet på. http://t.co/EeQzOWmE25 — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

#JustinBieber is a suspect in an attempted robbery. If you're first hearing that now, please RT this as thanks for the joy I've given you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I giveth, and I taketh away. Why? Because I recycleth. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

It amazes Me that the same people who doubt that I can be on Twitter have no trouble believing Jesus is on a piece of French toast. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Antarctica is melting and there's no way to stop it and it's your fault and it's a catastrophe beyond comprehension. Just FYI. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If you retweet this something will happen. Just watch. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I was there when your mother conceived you. In fact she was calling My name. #awwwyeah — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sorry, Liverpool. As usual, I'm letting you walk alone. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If I didn't mean for some people to be gay, I wouldn't have made cock so delicious. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

An openly gay man joins the NFL, a Southern state issues same-sex marriage licenses and a drag queen wins Eurovision. #mostfabulousdayever — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Congratulations to @MikeSamFootball on being the first openly professional football player in the gay community. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

People tend to greatly underestimate the frequency with which they should shut up. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I just don't like Cleveland sports. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this and you'll get three wishes!(They won't come true or anything, but still: three wishes!) — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Hey you stupid evil crazy backwards thuggish cowardly horrible bastards, #BringBackOurGirls. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I support the separation of church and reality. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The less you know, the more you think you do. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If the God of your universe commands you to sell schoolchildren into slavery, consider moving to another universe. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Multitasking is the first step towards multifailing. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Everyone in "Star Wars". Everyone in "The Muppets". Everyone in "Game of Thrones". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The key to successful prayer is to ask for something that would have happened anyway. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Finally, the New York Times deigns to acknowledge Me! Scroll to the end: http://t.co/afnqqtuyta — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

How could Oklahoma botch an execution? If there’s one thing I would expect Americans to know how to do by now, it’s kill somebody. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Always remember: no matter what happens, I don't care. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Mississippi could soon be the first state without an abortion clinic. That means more Mississippians would be born. You can see the problem. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I strongly dislike most of you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this for a complimentary drink at the bar. (Just show the bartender and tell him God said to give one to you.) — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit. — PolitiTweet.org