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God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You may retweet all the tweets in My timeline except for this one, for it is forbidden. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I like some groups of people more than other groups of people but I’m not going to tell you who is who so you’ll have to fight it out. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Middle East = Ctrl Ukraine = Alt Ebola = Del — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
“In God We Trust,” and there’s your problem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I need to be constantly told how great I am because even though I am omnipotent and omniscient I am emotionally needy. #NotInconsistent — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
EARTH 2.0 World peace No mosquitoes Marijuana rainforests Beerstorms Global A/C Endless fields of puppies President Colbert Me-lessness — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I think I should start over again. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
All this killing in My name makes Me feel very loved. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Note to Self: Next time, no Middle East. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I created the universe. I created the television show “No, You Shut Up”. The latter is much better. Check it out: http://t.co/IOuKJH5UKv — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I’m mad at planes. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The accidentally killed are just as dead as the intentionally killed. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
You shouldn’t live your life in fear of what others will think of you because believe Me, they already think you’re an idiot. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Wow, England, you sure stole a lot of countries! #glasgow2014 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
What happens after you die? I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I don't even know anymore, man. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Retweeting this will help you lose weight, add muscle, restore thinning hair, improve your libido and add years to your life. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
When negative thoughts overtake you, try using drugs or alcohol as a crutch. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If you buy one comedy album about America whose fifth track has lyrics by Me (hence the title!), make it this one: http://t.co/WbkKtiwhae — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Good job Israel. Those dozens of dead Palestinian children are no longer a threat. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I have absolutely no plan for your life. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Before I created the universe I practiced on Minecraft. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Congratulations, masturbators! http://t.co/fNb1and2B0 — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Don't waste time thinking about what's wrong with you. Instead, focus on what's wrong with other people. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Why can't you all just get along? Oh yeah, Me. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
When I made you in My image I was going through a period of extremely low self-esteem. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Wouldn't that be a cool twist if World War 3 turned out to be a U.S.-Russia thing after all? "So retro!", you'd think as you were vaporized. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Tweeting #PrayForMH17 is even less effective and more self-congratulatory than actually praying for MH17. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's really incredible how many of you are total stupid asses. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Shit happens. But people make it happen much faster. — PolitiTweet.org
