God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I am confident that once beta testing is complete, My new universe will be far more user-friendly and have far fewer viruses. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @amazonbooks: How did Neil Patrick Harris' collaborator provide "oomph" to his words? This is kind of funny. @ActuallyNPH http://t.co/d7… — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweeting this will give all your followers Ebola. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Before you panic about Ebola, relax and take a deep breath. Oops! You just caught Ebola. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

From Me. On behalf of the planet. http://t.co/z529C8RPOc — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

DID YOU KNOW?: The average human being spends 9.7 hours a day being an idiot. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

America, I don't tell you who to bomb, so don't tell Me who to bless. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The people who say I send viruses and disasters as a means to punish you for your sins, are the means by which I punish you for your sins. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You're welcome, Kansas City. #Royals — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

What doesn’t kill you can still cause tremendous damage. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Attention UK! #TheBookofBieb, My new book of the Bible, is just £0.99p for a limited time at #eBooksbySainsburys!http://t.co/kc5tmMPsxO — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The sooner the Pope accepts gays, the sooner they can help him do something about that wardrobe! #Hideous #NoWhiteAfterLaborDay — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Go Redskins!" - Christopher Columbus, 1492. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Existence is overrated. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For a few seconds, orgasms solve everything. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You’d work in “mysterious ways” too if you never had to worry about someone firing you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

#MalalaYousafzai and Amanda Bynes are both trending. Young women, here are two role models. Choose wisely. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Even I have no idea where Kim Jong Un is. It's freaking Me out. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

“School shootings”. “Mall shootings.” “Workplace shootings”. “Missouri racist cop shootings”. Only America has shooting subgenres. #16times — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Scientists have discovered Indonesian cave paintings that are 40,000 years old. To put that in perspective, the universe is 6,000 years old. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it’s already gone to shit. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

All NFL players are wearing pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Because when you think of women's well-being, you think #NFL. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

You people are some of the worst people in the history of people. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?" - Jesus, The Last Supper. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to him the other, but then at the last minute duck your head and kick him in the nuts. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Due to human activity the Earth has lost more than half its wildlife in the last 40 years. To put that in perspective, weep uncontrollably. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Always remember that I have a plan for you. I call it “Operation Shitstorm”. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The best thing the human race could do for the planet, by far, is die. #fact — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I don't call your name when I'm forging new stars from nebulae, so please don't call Mine when you're fucking. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Twitter is a way of talking to yourself to other people. — PolitiTweet.org