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Showing page 168 of 227.
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Marriage should be between a man and a woman. Unless it's gay marriage. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
For whatever reason I just don't seem to like Arsenal. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
For the record I've been running hunger games for thousands of years. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
How dare brown people try to live on land white people enslaved black people and killed red people to get? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Deep down, even I know there's no Me. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The meek shall inherit the earth, right after the powerful are done destroying it. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
This is your weekly reminder that nobody knows what they're doing. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I have you all on mute. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The fact that you are entitled to have a stupid opinion does not excuse its stupidity. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
I apologize for anything horrible that may have happened anywhere on planet Earth last night. I was drunk. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The rape allegations against Bill Cosby are a classic case of he said/she she she she she she she she she she she she she she and she said. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Go buy a copy of @IMKristenBell and @SNCmusic's "Text Me Merry Christmas," and make My secretary .008¢ richer! http://t.co/Owx8SWfZ2K — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
The problem with immortality is there's no real motivation to get anything done. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
"Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
And now, @IMKristenBell + @SNCmusic + Adam Schlesinger + Me present a new Xmas classic: “Text Me Merry Christmas”! http://t.co/EmszSZzIAM — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
11. Thou shalt not do things that make any civilized person say, "Dude, what the hell is wrong with thee?" — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Do not behead aid workers. Do not behead aid workers. Do not behead aid workers. Do not behead aid workers. Do not behead aid workers. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Policy change: everybody have lots of sex. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Just because the person you're talking to is stupid, doesn't mean you're not also stupid. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Next time I work on a book I might try non-fiction. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Q: What does "FIFA" stand for? A: Nothing. FIFA stands for absolutely nothing. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Today is #WorldKindnessDay. Please be kind today. Then tomorrow you can go back to being a heartless bastard. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
It's funny how nearly all the people who believe global warming is a myth also believe I'm not. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Get your filthy spaceship off My comet!!!! — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
A diamond ring is a way of telling a woman "I love you so much I want African children to suffer just so your finger can shine." — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Why is it ridiculous to believe I communicate to the world in 140 characters but not ridiculous to believe I created the world in six days? — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If Jesus was born as prematurely as Christmas-themed commercials start airing, there wouldn't have been a Christmas. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
If your team loses it's because I don't like you. — PolitiTweet.org
God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod
Watching sports all day. If you need anything ask Jesus. — PolitiTweet.org
