God (Not a Parody, Actually God)

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Retweet this and I'll send you a direwolf. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Watching "Jurassic World" really made Me nostalgic for the era between day six of Creation and Noah's Ark, when they lived. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I created skin to hold you together, not tear you apart. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For your continued support, @AaronRodgers12, I make this prediction for Super Bowl L: Packers 91, Patriots -14. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Update: people are still stupid. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The critics are unanimous! Except for a couple! Who aren’t included! For obvious reasons! @ActOfGodBway #AnActOfGod http://t.co/k6NLrUccVL — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

100% wrong. http://t.co/sC56J55GwV — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

To those of you taking the SATs tomorrow: BCCDECDABBCDEABCDEEBBCEBADEBCDEACBDEACBEDACBCAD. I damn well better see you in church on Sunday. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I'm telling you: I will NOT let the Stanley Cup go to friggin' Tampa Bay. #GoHawks #StanleyCupFinals — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Jim Bob Duggar: 'God Has Forgiven Josh'." No I haven't. He's going to hell, just like you. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sepp Blatter is retiring to spend more time with his money. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

For the record I made women from men before it was cool. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I created the universe on a Monday and Mondays have sucked ever since. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Church is a waste of time. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

The laws of physics I created do not apply to Lionel Messi. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sure, Frank. How's next Wednesday look? https://t.co/eFeezgWAPt — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Evil people often find great success their entire lives, then die completely unrepentant and completely unpunished. Sorry 'bout that. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Sepp aside, asshole. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @nytimesarts: Review: If God were as adorable as Jim Parsons, perhaps more of us would mind our morals http://t.co/7nQ7cCJlFr http://t.c… — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @playbill: God opens on Broadway tonight! #AnActofGod http://t.co/Nn0gmEgYuX http://t.co/OnyArwIgtn — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

RT @WBUR: Comedy writer David Javerbaum brings @TheTweetOfGod to #Broadway, starring Jim Parsons: http://t.co/eSUyCquFo4 http://t.co/cOlyeX… — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Only America could bring the force of impartial justice to FIFA, because it's the only country on earth that doesn't care about football. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Lord, can I have a pony?" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

"Vatican: Irish Gay Marriage Referendum a ‘Defeat for Humanity’." As opposed to wholesale child rape, which was a smashing success. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Every day a billion people call My name seeking help and a billion more call it seeking orgasm. I don't know which is more awkward. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

I honestly can no longer remember what I was thinking with spiders. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Dublin, if this doesn't tell you My opinion nothing will. #MarRef http://t.co/3PzKFiqF3N — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

When you do something horrible don't try to make up for it by "getting closer to God". You're a creep and I don't want you anywhere near Me. — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

Ireland, marriage should be between a man and a woman. Unless it's gay marriage, which is also fine. #IrelandVoteYes #VoteYes #MarRef2015 — PolitiTweet.org

God (Not a Parody, Actually God) @TheTweetOfGod

There are some sins so bad that Jesus comes down from the cross and says "No way I'm dying for that shit." — PolitiTweet.org