Danielle Muscato (she/her)

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

"This is surprisingly good" = I think you're a bad cook, but I'm too "polite" to say so: This is a backhanded compliment, meant to insult you, not compliment you. Real politeness is about making the other person comfortable, not insulting them. Eg, holding the door for someone. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

But conflict is part of life. Unless you're a complete hermit, you're gonna have to deal with conflict. There are healthy, productive ways to do this, and unhealthy ways. Passivity and aggression are two other unhealthy ways to deal with conflict, instead of assertiveness. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Using your anger to be aggressive, or violent, comes with its own set of problems. It's an unhealthy substitute for clear, kind, direct communication. Some people think direct communication is aggressive. Usually that's because they've been taught to avoid conflict at all costs. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Anger is the normal human emotional response to the perception of injustice. Healthy anger helps us recognize when we're treated unfairly. It's the basis of all protest action. As an activist, I use righteous anger everyday to do my job. What you DO with your anger matters! — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I "forgot." = I didn't forget, I just didn't want to, but I didn't want to start a fight, so I just didn't do it. Saying one thing but meaning another is unkind, unclear, and it IS starting a conflict. Remember: Clarity is kind! I'll do it "later" ⬅️ is later never? — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

But passive aggression is still putting fuel on the fire of conflict. It's still an expression of anger, not conflict resolution. The goal of passive aggression is to frustrate the other party without getting blamed, becase they "didn't do anything." ⬅️ See the quotation marks? — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

People who use passive aggression do it for lots of reasons. Sometimes people falsely believe that passive aggression is not aggression, and being "nice" (not to be confused with kind!) is morally superior to aggression. They think avoiding conflict at all costs is the goal. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Passive aggression is a form of aggression. Like outright aggression, it comes from a place of anger. It takes the form of sarcasm, backhanded compliments, sabotage, the silent treatment, procrastination, half-assing tasks… Saying 1 thing, but meaning another, to avoid conflict. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Let's talk about passive aggression: A thread! Passive aggression IS AGGRESSION. It's counterproductive, dishonest, hurtful, & a favorite tool of covert narcissists & abusers. It's a stepping stone to violence. It uses the magic of "plausible deniability." Let's break it down: — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Hermione is watching you and judging you 👀 My dad pretends he's on a tight budget. That fucker has @Mizzou season tickets. He wears a $22,000 wristwatch. He buys the expensive gas for his BMW. I don't want to hear it. I'm booking the show soon. Ball's in your court, Josh. 🏀 https://t.co/rN0FYO5ITM — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I'll do what I have to do. It's my goal to raise awareness about domestic abusers, to raise money for survivors, to educate people that anyone—even the famous Dr Joe & Dr Mary—can be abusive. They hide it. That's how they get away with it. Give me a good reason not to & I won't. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I don't want to destroy my surname in my hometown. I'm planning to move out of state afterward. Neither of us want me to do the show. Let's meet & talk this out like my dad proposed, b4 he decided to play the victim & lie to get a friggin restraining order. This is absurd. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I don't want to sue my dad. I don't want to have this mess of a hearing for back-and-forth orders of protection. Frankly I don't even want to do this one-woman show. I have debilitating chronic pain, and PTSD. It will give me panic attacks & nightmares for months to do this show. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

This is the last thing my dad ever texted to me. After this conversation, he lied to the judge to get an order of protection, and he illegally changed the locks, when he found out I was talking to the cops about his assault & battery. He decided to play the victim to avoid arrest https://t.co/IOAtQMrTNv — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

This is the donated guitar we're raffling off to raise money for survivors of #DomesticAbuse. The money & the proceeds from the show are going to a good cause. I need a hell of a good reason not to go forward with this. You've heard my settlement terms. He can easily afford this. https://t.co/O4kXt3g3Fr — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

You have a deadline to settle. If he doesn't want me to do my one-woman show, and mail out 2,000 of these to everyone who's ever heard of "Dr Joe and Dr Mary," you need to give me a hell of a good reason not to. The clock is ticking. The date on here is fake, but not for long: https://t.co/3CeeZlFe8q — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Don't try to chit-chat w/me about guitars in the future, please. I know you're "just doing your job." It's lawyers like you, & corrupt cops, who make it possible for abusers to get away with it. He should be in jail. I'm writing a song about it for my show. Work in progress lol https://t.co/9G0YPIQ4I8 — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

You helped him do this. You advised him. You took his money $ made it possible for him to get away w/ attempted murder & assault & battery. He stole $1300. He stole my cat, my ESA. He lied to the judge. And he's lying to you, too. He's evil. You are enabling him. For money. https://t.co/pGdgWgklgQ — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Dr Joe Muscato battered me & injured my wrist. Then he screamed at me & threw dishes & chased me into the basement when I tried to run away from him. I recorded audio of the whole thing. He never even got arrested because he bribed Detective Andy Muscato of @ColumbiaPD w/ $100k. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I was in excruciating, suicidal levels of pain. I was bedridden. I was in agony without my pain meds. Without my PTSD meds or emotional support animal. Without my heart meds 4 months after heart surgery. I almost died. He should be in jail. You're enabling his abuse. For money. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Abusers use their money & power & connections to get away with anything and everything. Do you understand that my dad attempted to murder me? He passive aggressively half-assed returning my meds to me for THREE WEEKS, knowing I was recovering from back surgery, & was suicidal. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Josh (one of my dad's attorneys): I know you are reading this. I know you're "just doing your job." You are enabling my father's abuse. You are taking his money and following his orders and advising him about how to get his way. Nazis were "just following orders," too. https://t.co/TyTMKRorRE — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

When you find out someone masks like this, when you find out someone changes their character in private: RUN. Cut contact. Get as far away as fast as you can. It will only get worse. They will only get more cruel, manipulative, & violent as they learn they can get away with it. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I knew that by standing near my friends, he wouldn't try to yell at me or be violent. Their presence would force him to act like "Dr Joe" instead of "my dad." It worked. He put his mask back on. I should never have moved in with him. It only got worse & more violent over time. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

I recall when I first got back to Como. I hired a few friends to help unload the U-Haul into a storage unit. My dad arrived late & tried to pull me aside to yell @ me privately. He grabbed my arm. I told him, "No! You will not yell at me like this" & went back over to my friends. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Abusers are two-faced. That's HOW they get away with it for so long. People who never see their evil side refuse to believe it exists at all, because abusers are so friendly and kind & decent in front of outsiders. It's a mask. Underneath, they're cruel, manipulative, violent. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

But the important thing to remember is, they mask. They DON'T do this to everyone. My dad is totally lucid, competent, friendly, he can listen just fine, when he's in a meeting with his attorneys, or when he's working as a med school professor. He can switch it on & off at will. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Narcissistic abusers distort reality. They are delusional. They cannot accept reality, they reject it and substitute their delusion. They force this delusional alternate reality onto you, violently if necessary. Then they claim THEY are the victim when you say, hey, wait a minute — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

When I say he spoke 2/3 of the time, I mean that out of the 90 min, he spoke literally 60+ minutes of each session. I timed THREE sessions to prove it Remember there were 4 ppl in the sessions—me, my mom, my dad & the family therapist. But he still said he didn't get enough time. — PolitiTweet.org

Danielle Muscato (she/her) @DanielleMuscato

Even though I proved it, 3 times over, he still denied it. He insisted that I "cheated" somehow. There's no way to win with a narcissist. They gaslight & twist reality. You catch yourself trying to "prove" reality to them. They force their delusion that they are victims into you https://t.co/GoHeYPAmtz — PolitiTweet.org