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Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
For my march, i'm going to dress as my greatest fear: deficit spending. Of course, there's no budget for clothes, so i'm showing up nude. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Obama wants to lengthen the school year by 16 days, I assume so he can add 16 vacation days to the calendar for secret Muslim holidays. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You can lead a horse to water, but after that you're on your own. I mean seriously, what are you even doing with a horse in the first place? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I tried to nail Ken Burns tonight but he managed to cross-fade away from every question — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Careful not to confuse Aposticles with Apastacles, the holiest of pastas. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
If you're ever out in Flagstaff, don't miss the local version of my show, The Ertizona Report. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Two new dinosaurs have been unearthed in Utah. Run for your lives, Nation! The dinosaurs are rising from the earth! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
There’s no good emoticon for testifying before Congress. This’ll have to do: [8^($) The $ represents the value of the truth I’ll be spewing. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Sign up for my march to keep fear alive on facebook here: http://bit.ly/aas7uq. Why facebook? Because who's not afraid of Mark Zuckerberg? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Biggest disappointment from my time in the corn field? Total no-show by shoeless joe jackson. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Why did no migrant workers laugh when I kicked over their buckets and yelled ‘Who spilled the beans?’ It was still funny after 4 times! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Facebook was down for quite a long time today. I'm assuming it was due to all of you clamoring to RSVP to my March: http://bit.ly/aas7uq. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
The U.S. Delegation walked out of the UN when Iran was speaking. I too find it insulting not to wear a tie to a business conference. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Some businesses are still doing well in this economy- like those companies that make hobo bindles. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
This tweet is for Platinum Members only, so if your monkey butler isn’t reading this to you, don’t look. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Baby formula was recalled for containing beetles. Come to think of it, we've not heard from Ringo in a while. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I don’t care what they say. I’m going to be the best migrant farm worker ever. I can rake a corn tree like nobody’s business! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
With all of Rep. Zoe Lofgren's work in DC, how did she find the time to invent her namesake drug, Zoloft? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Every year, on the first day of fall, I have a tradition of turning on my heater to counter my blasting a/c. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I don't just talk the talk. I have my assistant type it up and walk it over to me. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Republicans are fighting Obama's bill promoting infrastructure jobs like building bridges. If only there was some metaphor for this... — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Get Wake Up!, the new album by @johnlegend & The Roots (@questlove). Http://tiny.cc/9cxic. I assume it's sexy covers of alarm clock buzzers. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
if craigslist is getting rid of smut, why don't they shut down the furniture section? Have you seen the curves on those armoires? Mercy! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
RSVP to the March (http://bit.ly/aas7uq) and keep old fears alive! Did you know too many tinctures of mercury can rile your bilious humors? — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
You should follow @rally4sanity... if you want to get a worse version of this morning's twitter virus. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Astute viewers will notice I didn't tip my hat to anyone tonight, but I deny all claims that I'm getting kickbacks from Big Wag. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Pavement will rock the house tonight! Actually, they will alt-rock the house! — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
have you gone to my Facebook page (http://bit.ly/aas7uq) to join the March? what's the matter? are ya chicken? (you should be!) — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Whatever you do, do not follow @rally4sanity. — PolitiTweet.org
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Go to http://keepfearalive.com now and sign up for info on the March...and Let Freedom Cringe! — PolitiTweet.org
